Mafia PostIt Wars
by Winter Red Tears
Summary: When your boss puts an innocent Post It note on the fridge for a friendly reminder, it does not mean you start WW III using Post Its to insult, trick, bite to death or anything else to people...But this was Vongola Decimo's Family, and things aren't going to stay pretty for long. VARIA ARC. Some 1896. [I've been told it's hilarious, read for a good laugh]
1. Lovely Reminders

**Hello. This is my second fanfic, I'm far from perfect or professional, I'm just a clumsy beginner with no skills at all, so please don't expect some rich writing here, thanks. **

**Alright! So, I have been watching and reading Katekyo Hitman Reborn during my summer, and I FELL IN LOVE! I decided to write a Fanfic for it, and here it is. Just a warning, this really has no plot, and it's all just one shots of the Vongola and a few other Families posting notes and all. Also, there really won't be pairings … unless I get suggestions, but I'm obsessed with 1896, 5986, and a few others, so watch out for those when they pop up.**

**Warnings: It might not flow. May be horrible attempt at humour. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.**

* * *

**Mafia Post It Wars**

Chapter 1: When you remember …

Sawada Tsunayoshi, age 24, Vongola Decimo, an Italian Mafia Boss, stared somewhat unbelievingly at the offending object in front of him. After a few seconds, he let out a loud sigh as a hand weaved through his brown fluffy lion like hair. His other hand closed the small door which made a SNAP sound.

"_Ah…" _The young man thought as he searched around some of the cupboards for paper and pen. _"Looks like we ran out of milk again … well, I can't say I didn't see it coming, we have Lambo and Yamamoto here after all." _He added the though as he finally grabbed hold of a stack of orange Post It notes and a pen.

He took his time to neatly write down_ 'Must buy milk. Again... –Tsuna'_ before sticking it onto the fridge. He nodded to himself, satisfied with his thinking. _"I have paperwork to deal with, and I'll probably forget afterwards … and then Lambo will be whining while Yamamoto won't stop running around and laughing." _He thought, and suddenly a small 'beep' echoed in the room and Tsuna sighed again, pulling out his cell phone.

It was a simple message.

"Dame-Tsuna. If you aren't sitting down and working on the paperwork in 5 seconds, you'll be training –Reborn"

Yes, Tsuna made it back to his office in 3 seconds, taking 2 seconds to grab a sheet of paper as his tutor entered the room, to see Tsuna concentrating on the paper in his hand as the other twirled the pen he had picked up earlier.

"You've improved Dame-Tsuna." A deep manly voice said, and Tsuna looked up and saw his tutor leaning against the door as he tipped his hat down to hide his face, hands in pocket and all. "I didn't manage to catch you this time, but instead I'll shoot you if you if you don't finish it in an hour" He teased and chuckled when Tsuna's face turned pale.

"_Stupid, sadistic tutor, this is even worse than when he was still cursed" _Tsuna thought as he scribbled his signature on the paper he was working on, only to duck when a bullet tore a hole to the paper he was holding.

"I heard that, Dame-Tsuna" Reborn said, grinning and holding onto his Leon Gun. "Well, I'll go bother the rest of the Arcobalenos, I'll be back in an hour to shoot you" He said as he walked away, leaving Tsuna to glare holes to the back of his tutor.

* * *

Reborn chuckled to himself as he walked further away from Tsuna's office. It was so much fun scaring Tsuna, of course, it was not as amusing as it had been when he was 13, but now, at least Tsuna could fight Reborn for a few minutes before the world's greatest Hitman assassin kicked his ass into a wall.

"_Wait…" _Retracing his steps, Reborn popped his head into the kitchen, seeing a silver haired man scribbling something down on red paper before sticking it onto the fridge. _"Now that's interesting, wonder what made our genius stick something on the fridge?" _Reborn thought as the silver haired man walked out the other exit of the kitchen. Reborn made his move and inspected the fridge.

'_Must buy milk. Again. –Tsuna' _

Reborn raised his eyebrow and there was a slight twitch in his neutral expression as he read the orange post it note, his eyes drifted to the side where there was a blue colored post it note.

'_Hahaha, don't worry Tsuna, I was planning to go out anyway, I'll pick it up for you on the way. –Yamamoto'_

'_Tch. Don't count on the stupid Baseball-freak, he'll probably forget about it after he gets hit with a baseball to the head, I'll go pick up the milk, Jyuudaime, you can count on me! – Gokudera'_

Reborn tipped his hat down, shadowing his eyes as he made his way out of the kitchen. _"So amusing, Dame Tsuna and his Guardians" _He thought as he slipped out of the mansion quickly.

* * *

"HIIIIIIIEEE! Reborn, don't shoot! I'm finished!" Tsuna shrieked as he received a kick to the head, the brown haired man whirled his head around, to see the Leon gun aimed right at his face.

"Tch. So close" Reborn muttered unhappily as he let Leon change back to his chameleon form so it could crawl up to rest on his fedora. "You're no fun today, Dame Tsuna. I guess I'll be paying the Shimon a visit then" Tsuna immediately made a mental note to contact Enma as soon as Reborn set foot off Vongola property.

* * *

"Oh great, now I'm hungry …well it is 2 o'clock, guess I'll have lunch, then …" He said to himself as he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to grab some food that he could microwave. As he closed the small door, he saw the notes and slapped himself. "Shit, the milk. Oh wait … there are other notes …" He muttered as he took a good look at them.

'_Gokudera that's mean! I wouldn't forget to get Tsuna some milk; I need it too after all –Yamamoto' _

'_Ha! That's exactly it; you'll probably drink all it before you get back here, leaving Jyuudaime with no milk. That's why I'm going to get some, having more is better so you don't need to go out all the time to get it. – Gokudera'_

'_Hahaha! I see, that's a good idea Gokudera, I'll leave you to buy the extra carton then –Yamamoto' _

'_Knowing you, you'll probably drink both, so I'm getting two, one for Jyuudaime and one for myself. You're getting your own after all. –Gokudera' _

'_But then the rest of the family needs theirs too! I'll get Hibari, Mukuro and Chrome-chan a carton; you can get Ryohei and Lambo theirs! –Yamamoto' _

'_Che. I guess it'll make the tenth happy if everyone in the family got their own cartons. Don't think I'm doing this to help you Baseball-freak! I'm trying to make the tenth and our family happy –Gokudera' _

'_I'm part of the family as well, so you're making me happy too! –Yamamoto' _

'_BAKA! I'm buying it only for myself, the tenth, Turf-top and the stupid cow, so you don't need to be happy since I'm not buying you anything! –Gokudera.' _

Tsuna chuckled, as he let his hands weave through his hair again, his Storm Guardian and Rain Guardian might not get along that well, but that only made them act more like family. Quickly grabbing an orange post it out of his pocket (MAGIC), he wrote his own note and posted it under Gokudera's last message.

'_Thank you both Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto, I'm sure everyone will be so happy, don't take too long, some of them might not be in the mansion if you come back late. – Tsuna' _

He smiled at his orange note at the top and the bottom. He then headed towards the living room where he saw both his Mist Guardians sleeping soundlessly on different couches, and nearly had a heart attack when Hibari, clad in his black suit and purple shirt, dropped down from the ceiling like a ninja out to get Mukuro and Lambo came in and started demanding candy very loudly.

Well, the living room did not survive. Hibari was going to 'Bite the Pineapple herbivore to death for good', Mukuro took offense to that and the two started world war 3, accidentally waking up Chrome when Mukuro dodged a Tonfa. Chrome got pissed off and gave the two illusionary stomach cramps females would get once a month before falling asleep once more.

And Lambo? He quickly ran off to find Ryohei, wondering if he would have any candy. That effectively left Tsuna in a room with a pissed off, but thankfully sleeping female and two men who were rolling on the floor, suffering with stomach cramps that no man should have.

'Ku…fu fu, my dear sweet Nagi has … ugh … improved …" Mukuro weakly laughed out.

"You … stupid herbivore … you still need a lesson on … not stealing things." Hibari spat out.

"Steal what? I don't have your bird" Mukuro asked, confusion coloring his handsome face.

"The milk you stupid herbivore!" Hibari yelled, turning his head to Mukuro, but his face was kissing the ground when Chrome sent an illusionary pan to drop on his head. "You stupid … herbivorous woman…" He growled out, his flames exploding from his ring as he grabbed his box.

"W-WAIT!" Tsuna cried out. "Hibari, if it's milk you want, Gokudera and Yamamoto are already on their way buying some" He said, hoping to stop the fight that would no doubt start, and he really didn't want to see Hibari going after Chrome.

"Hmpf, in that case, where is it?" Hibari asked, still on the ground, but managed to get the pan off his head as he spoke. Suddenly, they all heard laughter and grumbling down the hall. Tsuna had never been so happy to see his Rain and Storm Guardian arguing before.

"Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto!" Tsuna greeted the two as they walked into the battle field.

"Jyuudaime! I have bought you the milk you had so desperately needed!" Gokudera announced proudly as he bowed and stretched the milk carton out in front of him towards Tsuna who just laughed and accepted it.

"Thank you, Gokudera-kun, I have read your notes on the fridge, yours as well Yamamoto" He told his two Guardians.

"It's a fun way to talk to each other!" Yamamoto laughed before turning to the two injured soldiers. "Are Mukuro and Hibari playing a game? They're acting like they're dead…Oh! At least Chrome's alive" He cheered as the long purple haired woman yawned and sleepwalked over to Yamamoto.

"Thanks … " Chrome muttered before chugging down the milk in one go and almost instantly looked more aware. "What is Mukuro-sama and Hibari-san doing?" She asked,

"They're playing dead!"

"W-What?"

"BAKA!"

"I will bite you all to death when I get this stupid illusion off of me."

"Kufu ... FU! Chrome … let me out of this…"

"Ah ... Yamamoto just put their milk in the fridge … they won't be up for a long time…"

"Hahaha! Ok, I guess only Lambo and Ryohei will get theirs, then."

* * *

**That's the first chapter. I'm probably not that good with the humor and flow of the story, but please do give advice if you're willing, just not flames. They're all probably just a little bit OOC, I hope they're somewhat realistic, even Chrome, I tried to make her just a bit more … not so shy, just so I don't have her stuttering through every line.**

**I hope you enjoyed it. Advice would be greatly appreciated. I want your opinion. Hopefully no one dies when they review, Goodnight (or morning…).**

**~ W.R.T.**


	2. Surprising Mornings

**I am blown away. There's no other way of putting it, I was up at 4 in the morning and I checked out my story and all since I have a weird habit of checking my spelling and grammar after 5 hours I've written it, and I actually found reviews! I was so shocked and happy to see that the reviews were all people who actually enjoyed this. I'm really happy and relieved that you all enjoy this story. **

**A million thanks, I hope I won't disappoint you throughout my story and I hope you will continue reading my story! **

**Warning: Abusive use of EXTREME's. May get annoying. Out of Character-ness.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn (If I did, 1896 FTW)**

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**Mafia Post It Wars**

Chapter 2: Morning Surprises.

Sasagawa Ryohei was one hell of an EXTREME guy. He would EXTREMELY wake up at the crack of dawn to begin his EXTREME training. He would run, run … and run … until he ended up somewhere along the edge of the Italian border before realizing he was EXTREMLY hungry and managed to find his way back to the Vongola mansion.

From there, he would grab an EXTREME carton of milk and chug it in an EXTREME fashion before continuing his training, which mainly consisted of EXTREMELY punching trees, EXTREME running, EXTREME mountain climbing, EXTREME skydiving, and usually he would finish all of his EXTREME activities at 3 o'clock in the afternoon so he could eat his lunch before he would find his friends to see if they would spar with him TO THE EXTREME!

However, today was EXTREMELY different. Ryohei had gotten up at the crack of dawn like usual, and went for his morning jog (hike) and returned to the Vongola Mansion to get his milk, but he noticed something EXTREMELY weird about the fridge they owned. He raised an EXTREME eyebrow as he eyed orange, red, blue pieces of paper stuck onto the fridge and read through them.

"THAT IS EXTREMELY WEIRD!" Ryohei yelled when he had gotten to the part where Yamamoto and Gokudera were arguing about buying cartons. Unfortunately, it was only 8 in the morning, while Tsuna, Yamamoto, Gokudera, and Hibari would no doubt be up, that meant the other Guardians were not, and were rudely awaken by the EXTREME boxer.

"Kufufufu …" Ryohei turned to see Mukuro leaning against the wall, his pineapple hair was messy, not only sticking out at the top, but sticking out in ALL DIRECTIONS!

"Good morning TO THE EXTREME, Mukuro! It is EXTREMELY weird for you or Chrome to be at 8, why are you EXTREMELY UP?!" Ryohei asked, and it was true, anyone in the Family (maybe except for Hibari) knew that Mukuro and Chrome would sleep until 12 in the afternoon, at least unless someone died or they were RUDELY AWAKENED.

Unfortunately for Ryohei once again, he was so oblivious to Mukuro's murderous aura; he nearly had a trident stab his heart.

"Mukuro! That is UNEXTREME!" Ryohei yelled as he continued dodging stabs from the 'Kufufu'ing Pineapple.

"Kufufufu … SHUT UP! You're the one who woke me up with your stupid 'Extreme's' and no doubt Chrome is up as well, I will have to send you to hell for waking me up before 12!" Mukuro roared as he spun his trident around while Ryohei lifted his fists up into a defensive position.

"MUKURO YOU ARE EXTREMELY CHANGING! It's only 8 and you're already up and sparring with me, we should do this every day TO THE EXTREME!" The boxer yelled as Mukuro charged towards him. Ryohei pulled his arm back for a Maximum Cannon while Mukuro had indigo flames coating his entire trident.

This bloody moment turned into an anti-climactic moment when Hibari jumped in the window like a ninja with his Tonfas raised, and eyes glaring at the two idiots.

"Herbivores, you are too loud, and you're crowding, for that I will bite you to death" He stated as he charged for Mukuro.

"Oya? The Skylark has woken up as well, see you stupid Ryohei, you woke up everyone!" Mukuro accused as he ducked a Tonfa at his head.

"Herbivore, hold still" Hibari demanded as he swung at the pineapple head.

"That wouldn't be fun … now I'm sleepy again, goodbye" Mukuro said as he jumped away from Hibari's attacking range … only bump into a sleepy Chrome as he was just about to leave. "Oya, good morning my dear Nagi, were you woken up by this idiot as well?" Mukuro asked, but was confused when Chrome shook her head.

"I was woken up by you three idiots" said idiots tensed as they saw Chrome pull out her own trident. "NOW SHUT UP SO I CAN SLEEP" She yelled as pots came out of nowhere and slammed down on their heads, rendering them unconscious. Satisfied, Chrome gave one last look at the three idiots before she pulled out a purple Post it, she neatly wrote a few things then stuck it on the fridge.

'_To whoever find these idiots, leave them there don't bother with them. I'll give someone a thanks if you step on them –Chrome.' _

She stepped back and nodded at her work before walking out of the room, making sure to step on Mukuro as she exited to the living room. _"Hopefully I can catch some sleep before 12, Mukuro-sama would most definitely be bothering me and I'll need all the strength I need to keep him occupied." _She thought as she closed her eyes.

* * *

"Herbivore … how long do you plan to stand on me?" Hibari growled through gritted teeth as his herbivorous boss shrieked like the girl he secretly was and jumped off his back.

"H-H-Hibari, why were you on the floor like that, I didn't see you at all" Tsuna said, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, he then took a good look at the floor in case he stepped on another one of his Guardians, only to find Mukuro and Ryohei still unconscious on the floor. "Geez, Hibari if you're going to knock them out at least dump them in a pile and not all over the floor" Tsuna complained as he opened the fridge, never noticing that the door had hit a pineapple head quite roughly.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi…" Mukuro growled, and Tsuna turned his head to see Mukuro quite irritated with the door of the fridge squishing his head to the cupboard. "Close the damn door!" He yelled, and Tsuna quickly snapped the door shut before his male Mist Guardian could dish out some illusions.

However, as he closed the door he found one note on the fridge that wasn't there yesterday.

'_To whoever find these idiots, leave them there don't bother with them. I'll give someone a thanks if you step on them. –Chrome' _

Tsuna blinked at the message before turning to the two conscious men and one unconscious then pulled out his own Post It and started writing down something before posting it beside Chrome's.

'_If it makes you less irritated, I stepped on Hibari and slammed the door on Mukuro's head –Tsuna' _

Tsuna made a smart move and quickly dashed out of the kitchen, made a second thought, and dashed out of the mansion instead as the two bloodiest fighters of the 10th Vongola, read the two notes before whipping their own Post Its out.

'_Stupid Boss Herbivore, I will bite you to death next time, along with the herbivorous woman.' _

'_Kyoya won't sign his name but the above mine is his. Chrome~ you're so mean … but I guess I was wrong in waking you up, I'll get you strawberry milk okay? -69' _

'_You are a perverted herbivore.' _

'_WHAT PROOF DO YOU HAVE? -69'_

'_Who the hell uses 69 as a name?'_

'_It's my number, so shut up! – Mukuro' _

'_Which tells everyone that you are a pervert and the fact that you sign Mukuro at the bottom after that proves that you realized you are a pervert' _

'_We're having roasted chicken tonight – Mukuro' _

* * *

"EXTREME!" Ryohei shouted as he snapped his head up and looked around. "I EXTREMELY can't remember how I got here … but I'm EXTREMELY hungry!" He said to himself as he made a move to open the fridge, only to see purple and indigo colored post it notes on the fridge. He took a good long while to read it all before pulling out his own yellow colored Post It.

'_Chrome is mean! Mukuro is a pervert and Hibari … WE SHALL ALL HELP WITH THE ROOSTED CHICKEN TONIGHT –Ryohei' _

Satisfied with his note, he grabbed milk and a sandwich from the fridge and went to microwave his food. He saw Chrome sleepwalk into the kitchen and greeted her TO THE EXTREME.

"Good afternoon TO THE EXTREME, Chrome! Are you awake now?" Ryohei asked, as the purple haired female moved to the fridge.

"Yeah…I'm awake" Chrome informed him as she wrote down on her Post It. "Do you know where Mukuro-sama went?"

"I EXTREMELY don't know, but according to that note he posted, he must be buying chicken TO THE EXTREME." Ryohei informed and Chrome hummed, telling him that she heard that. "What did you EXTREMELY write?" He asked before taking a look himself.

'_Thank you, boss. Hope you'll like your thank you gift, and Mukuro-sama, don't roast Hibird. – Chrome' _

After reading the note, Ryohei turned to Chrome, only to find mist. Scratching his head, he pulled his stack of Post It Notes.

"THIS IS EXTREMELY FUN!"

* * *

'_You're welcome, Chrome, but you didn't have to kiss my on the cheek again –Tsuna'_

'_It's a bad habit since I learned a bit of Italian from Mukuro-sama – Chrome' _

'_That perverted herbivore taught you to kiss people as thanks? What a pervert' _

'_I am not perverted – Mukuro' _

'_Everyone! I have EXTREMELY found a dead bird out in the forest! – Ryohei' _

'_EH? Ryohei you should leave it alone! – Tsuna' _

'_But … it was white and it had EXTREMELY weird eyes! – Ryohei' _

'_Wait … Fukuro isn't in his box … - Chrome' _

'_YOU BASTARD, YOU KILLED FUKURO! – Mukuro' _

'_I did no such thing TO THE EXTREME! –Ryohei' _

'_Well then, looks like we're having roasted owl for dinner then' _

'_Hibari! Hibari! Herbivore! Herbivore! – Hibird' _

'_DAFAQ? – Mukuro'_

* * *

**The end of chapter 2.**

**Thank you to LLM who corrected me with the 'roosted' chicken thing! **

**I personally think this wasn't as good as the first one, probably the fact that there's a lack of plot … but I'll try to make the 3****rd**** chapter much more pleasant. I apologize for any spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes and if things didn't flow, I did my best to check for stuff like that, but I'm not perfect or professional, so please forgive me.**

**By the way, I think Mukurowl sounds weird. So does Gufo (Owl in Italian) so I just used Fukuro, own in Japanese. **

**And since there were so many reviews/favorites/follows I'll give a preview of chapter 3. **

'_Missing Puppy: silver furred, green eyed. Extremely stupid, blind, stupid, dangerous, stupid and stupid. If found please hand him back to Sawada Tsunayoshi – Mukuro' _

_Tsuna stared at the offending purple Post It before writing his own response. _

'_Missing Owl: white, red and blue eyed. Dead, fat, and still dead. If found please give it to Rokudo Mukuro so we may start the funeral' _

_Hours later, Mukuro walked by and read the note, chuckling to himself as a dark aura enveloped him; his mismatched eyes gleamed with mischief and promised pain. "Kufufufu, Sawada Tsunayoshi. IT IS ON!" _

"_SHUT UP! IT'S ONLY 10!" _


	3. Missing!

**Hello everyone! I'm here with Chapter 3, once again, thank you to everyone who have reviewed/favorite/followed or even just read this. I hope you all enjoy it, I'm certain that this chapter will be better than chapter 2. I still think chapter 2 is terrible.**

**Warnings: OOCness. It's a TAD bit more serious than the ones before, but I still hope it's humorous. (Very light 2759, 6996/1896)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn **

**Mafia Post It Wars**

Chapter 3: Missing Family in Their Own Special Way

Mukuro was a man who didn't regret that much in his life. Early on in his life he had been introduced to the darkest parts of the Mafia and the Underworld in general, which had caused him to be hell bent on destroying every last of them. Until he met Sawada Tsunayoshi.

He had changed, but he was still a sadistic pineapple who denied the fact that his race is indeed a pineapple turned human. Even then, picking fights with the Skylark was always entertaining and fun, teasing and getting the Guardians mad were even more amusing, but as sadistic, deceiving and evil Mukuro was, he was still human.

So, when Mukuro was walking dejectedly out of Chrome's room, he began to regret letting Varia house Chrome for a year. Those Varia beasts had changed his cute, shy, stuttering Chrome into a cold, confident, dangerous woman who no longer needed to rely that much on anyone and could hold her ground. He missed the Chrome who would blush at him, and stuttered every word she would say, but now … even when he gave her a glass of milk, she would just say 'Thank you' and not another word or a change of expression!

As the pineapple walked down the grand hall of the Vongola mansion, he passed by Tsuna's office and couldn't help but grin evilly and start thinking of many plans to 'help' his boss. However, his evil musings were cut short when he heard the conversation inside.

"I won't fail you, Jyuudaime!" _Oh, it was the octopus head, Tsunayoshi probably gave him a mission and the stupid loyal puppy just had to accept it like it was precious gold. _Mukuro thought bitterly as memories of Chrome doing something similar popped in his head.

As Gokudera walked out of his boss' office, he immediately spotted the Pineapple and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"What you are planning Pineapple?" The silver man asked, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Fufufu…I have no idea what're saying, stupid puppy" Mukuro chuckled as Gokudera bit his cigarette to keep himself from unleashing curses at the Pineapple.

"Better than you, perverted pineapple" Gokudera countered, and Mukuro frowned _It's already been a week, I AM NOT A PERVERT! _

"Tch. Shoo, shoo" Mukuro waved his hand, "go finish the job your master has told you to do" He added and laughed as he walked away from a fuming Gokudera.

"You're just jealous you no longer have a puppy!" The silver countered and Mukuro stopped in his tracks, looking at Gokudera.

"So you admit you're a puppy?" The pineapple asked before walking away from a cursing Gokudera.

To be honest, he was somewhat jealous. If it was in the past, every time he looked behind him, we would see Chrome blushing and holding her trident to her chest as she walked with him, but now, that rarely ever happened. It would only be for a few seconds that she would stand behind him when the entire Vongola 10th Generation was in a meeting with another family and they were to look intimidating just to make the other family piss their pants.

While that was amusing, he would miss the presence of Chrome afterwards.

That's why, when he reached the kitchen, he was already feeling lonely, which should've been impossible, and decided to vent his anger out on the beautiful Post It Note Wars that their boss had started for them.

'_Missing Puppy: silver furred, green eyed. Very stupid, armed, stupid, dangerous, stupid and stupid. If found, please return to Sawada Tsunayoshi. –Mukuro'_

Satisfied with that, the pineapple decided to go see if the Skylark was lurking around the forest again so he could bother the stupid bird.

/././././././

Tsuna couldn't help but frown when something in him was tingling. No doubt it was his Hyper Intuition, but nothing should be wrong, after all the only ones in the Vongola mansion were Chrome, Lambo and Mukuro, the rest were on missions or staying away from the mansion (HIBARI), would it be an ally family that was in trouble?

Shaking his thoughts away, Tsuna looked at the dreaded pile of paperwork before giving it a cold glare. It was the toughest enemy he had faced against, one that kept multiplying, never ending, and would no doubt tower over him one day and drown him in a sea of papers. He simply looked around the room, checking for cameras, stalkers out his window, the ceilings in case ninjas (Hibari) would drop down, and the floor in case any one of their animals were digging and spying on him … before he went into HDWM and set the papers on fire, all at once.

"Haha…Hahahaha…HAHAHAHAHA YES! BURN, BURN! BURN YOU BITCHES, DIE! Dieeeeeeee!" Tsuna laughed manically as fire spread onto all of the paperwork, and he made sure to stop the fire before it burnt his carpets. However, the young boss didn't stop laughing as he smugly poked the pile of ash that was once his paperwork.

"B-Boss?" A familiar quiet voice asked, the sound was muffled seeing as the speaker was outside the door, but Tsuna quickly regained his composure, straightening his hair and tie, he swept the pile of ash into a jar where he would forever remember the time he burnt it all before letting the door open.

"Hello, Chrome, what seems to be the problem?" He asked.

"Hibari's in the kitchen and he's telling us all that he'd bite us to death if we go in." Chrome informed him and Tsuna nodded as he walked out the door.

/././././././

Hibari snapped his eyes open as his two targets walked into his temporary territory. A few weeks before, the two herbivores had the guts to attack him while he was down, and they would pay, herbivores needed to know their place after all, so as a carnivore, he would simply bite them to death.

"HIIIIE! Hibari! Stop attacking!" The herbivorous boss pleaded as he ducked under his Tonfas, letting him see the herbivorous woman who had used illusions to knock him down countless times.

"Herbivore" He addressed her, "I will bite you to death for putting me in multiple illusions" He informed her before raising both his Tonfas once more, and made a dash towards the blinking woman who made no move to defend herself. _"Stupid herbivore, at least she knows her place" _He thought, put something yellow caught his eye and made him cease all movements.

"Take another step and we're having Bird Soup tonight" Chrome threatened as she held our dear fluffy yellow Hibird in her hands and one of Gokudera's many lighters in the other, a small flame flickering and just a small step away from lighting the cute fluff ball on fire.

With a growl, and a 'Tch' our carnivore Hibari made a smart move and retreated from his temporary territory.

/././././././

Tsuna sighed in relief as his Cloud Guardian was handed back his unharmed and safe fluff ball and left, and they didn't even have to call 9-1-1. God knew that the people there were pissed that they would visit them every other day. He thanked his female Mist Guardian before most of the people in the room went their separate ways.

Tsuna stayed behind, now free of paperwork he actually had some time to himself, and he would start celebrating his freedom with food - actual food, not the ones that one of his Guardians would make and stuff it in the fridge for someone to come along and microwave it.

As his hand held the handle of the fridge, he couldn't help but give a glance at the multiple colorful Posits that covered a small portion of the fridge. _"Oh? There's a new one … it's indigo, but the writing looks rough, must be Mukuro" _he thought as he took a good look at it.

'_Missing Puppy: silver furred, green eyed. Very stupid, armed, stupid, dangerous, stupid and stupid. If found, please return to Sawada Tsunayoshi. –Mukuro'_

Tsuna stared at the offending purple Post It before writing his own response.

_'Missing Owl: white, mismatches eyes (blue and red). Dead, fat, and still dead. If found please give it to Rokudo Mukuro so we may start the funeral – Tsuna'_

He grinned evilly at his Post It as he stuck it beside Mukuro's and he started laughing evilly once more. "Hehehehehe…" He laughed as he threw his hands up in the air; he twirled around and saw Lambo looking at him. Letting his evil fade away, he looked at the young cow silently before bringing a finger to his lips. "Shhhh…." Lambo nodded slowly and walked away.

Tsuna turned around, and regained his evil grin and face. Oh yes, when Mukuro gets back from whatever hell he stuck his ass in, the stupid pineapple will learn not to talk badly about one of his Guardians, Family, even if he knew that about 0.2 % of that message was actually written so that Gokudera would be all happy when he comes back, just so amuse Mukuro.

/././././././

Mukuro yawned as he and his dear Chrome both sleepily walked into the kitchen to eat their brunch. It was already 12:15, but they could care less; no one was dying and war didn't break out, so they were not needed and could enjoy themselves. However, when Mukuro walked to the fridge, he saw an orange note that hadn't been there before and read it.

_'Missing Owl: white, mismatches eyes (blue and red). Dead, fat, and still dead. If found please give it to Rokudo Mukuro so we may start the funeral – Tsuna'_

Mukuro just stared at the note. _"No…He did not … HE DID NOT JUST INSULT MY (Me and Chrome's) BIRD!" _He thought furiously as he grabbed a Post It note from Chrome, which surprised the girl since Mukuro had eyes that were out for blood. She just sat back and drank her strawberry milk as she watched him furious scratch some writing and slap the innocent paper next to an orange note.

'_Missing Paperwork: Brunt. In a jar, only a pile remains. If found please hand it to the Sun Arcobaleno so our dumb boss dies. –Mukuro" _

"_Missing Victim of Mukuro: Green haired, wears frog hoodie, and is an illusionist. Kidnapped by Rokudo Mukuro at age 8, abused by Rokudo Mukuro, and other horrifying things, if found, please: hand over to Varia. FOREVER. – Tsuna.' _

'…_You win for now Sawada Tsunayoshi … but I have acquired the proof of you burning the paper and laughing like Franken Stein. –Mukuro' _

'_LIES! –Tsuna' _

'_Kufufufufufu Hibird's memories would beg to differ – Mukuro'_

'_I'll send Hibari after you to kill you for possessing his bird – Tsuna' _

'_The stupid bird cannot touch me! Besides I can go to Reborn any moment now~ - Mukuro' _

'_Tch, you win. We never speak of this. –Tsuna' _

'_Kufufufu, I knew you'd see it my way Tsunayoshi – Mukuro' _

'_Boss…Mukuro-sama, what's the point of continuing with this current war if you're just going to erase it all? – Chrome' _

'_Ah, so smart my dear Chrome, you shall be our witness to this agreement Tsunayoshi and I made, if one of us breaks the deal, you shall spill what was promised since we're going to rip these notes. –Mukuro' _

'_Alright –Chrome' _

'_KUFUFU, KUFUFU NO FU~ - Mukuro'_

"_Herbivore, stop wasting paper.'_

'_Sheeeiit – Mukuro' _

_/././././././_

As soon as Gokudera Hayato took a step into the Vongola mansion, he knew something was off. It was Friday, and it was 5 o'clock and every Friday at 5 o'clock the entire family would gather in the kitchen and drink their asses off, resulting in things that will never be spoken of, BUT it was dead silent in the mansion, no one was streaking down the hall, you didn't hear Mukuro loudly sing his annoying 'Kufufu no fu', and you most certainly did not see a Hibari dressed in a pink tutu and spinning around the mansion until he fell into the swimming pool then proceed to chase around every female in the mansion to show how 'carnivorous' he was.

"_No…what if there was a surprise attack while they drank their asses off?! I MUST FIND JYUUDAIME!" _Gokudera thought frantically as he rushed to the kitchen, where he was CERTAIN that everyone was there and he was right.

Tsuna, Lambo, Yamamoto, and Ryohei were piled on top of each other in a pile in the corner, each holding a bottle that was near empty; the silver haired half Italian turned his eyes to the three remaining people of the family and could feel his eye twitch. The three were seated on chairs and the table was covered with empty bottles, each had a heavy blush on their faces and they still continued to down a glass.

"I … *hic* give…" The female mist guardian managed to slur before she passed out as well, her head hitting the table as her grip loosened around the glass she was holding onto.

"Kufu *hic* fu!" Mukuro laughed in drunken stupor.

"Herbivore… shut *hic* up" Hibari slurred.

Gokudera watched with a horror struck face as the two shot down another glass before passing out at the same time.

Now, blinking and standing the middle of a room with 7 passed out idiots around you … the first thing you do is check the fridge for the updates on the war.

'_Missing Puppy: silver furred, green eyed. Very stupid, armed, stupid, dangerous, stupid and stupid. If found, please return to Sawada Tsunayoshi. –Mukuro'_

"_Mukuro … that bastard … but wait … what if … what if Jyuudaime did miss me and the stupid pineapple pervert did this for his amusement … and for me?" _Gokudera thought and a flowery bubbly scene encased the silver haired octopus head. Quickly, he twirled his octopus head to the pile of passed out drunks. "JYUUDAIME, I AM BACK!" He announced, and although all he got was groans, moans, complaints, a punch to the head, a Tonfa to his mid-section, an illusion of Bianchi and a rather hard kick to the groin, it was worth it! _"Jyuudaime looked so happy!" _

**OMAKE: **

"I THOUGHT WE RIPPED IT ALL APART!" Mukuro yelled as he stared at the eyed the multiple indigo and orange notes that were perfectly intact and still stuck to the fridge.

"Herbivores." Tsuna and Mukuro turned to see the skylark. "Did you think I would let you waste paper just because you want to cover up your mistakes and evidence?"

"SCREW YOU, YOU DAMN SKYLARK!"

"Please don't, I am straight. And I shall be taking this herbivore with me"

"GET YOUR DISGUSTING HANDS OFF MY CHROME!"

"No."

"YOU RAPIST!"

"I beg to differ, pineapple pervert, after all your ancestor was as much as a pervert and rapist as you."

"LIES, AND IT'S BEEN A WEEK ALREADY, I AM **NOT** A PERVERT"

"Keep telling yourself that."

**Alright, the end of chapter 3. **

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I personally had a better time writing this than the others, and this chapter was longer than the first two so yay~ on the other note I have some bad news for this fic.**

**I start school on Sept. 4****th**** about 2 days from now, and my parents made it a huge note that I can't be on the laptop/desktop as much as I am right now (I play from 9 in the morning to 4 in the morning *they don't know about 9-10 morning and 11-3 in the morning*) and I should be focusing on my studies, so I won't update as often as I am right now, but I will try every Sunday since I am promised to have every Sunday to myself. **

**Another note, is that I need a Beta-reader or someone who can help me read over it, I don't really need a professional Beta-reader, just someone who's willing to read my stuff over and help me fix some spelling or grammar, if you're willing or you know someone who might, please PM me, thank you. **

**Also, if some of you have awesome ideas, feel free to put in a suggestion, or request someone from another family to join in; you could request for Squalo of Varia to make an appearance or the clumsy Bucking Horse Dino to trip into the Vongola war zone, it doesn't matter! **

**On a second thought, what is Dino's family name? There are so many different names and spellings for it, but what's the one most people use?**

**Thank you for reading this giant block of an A/N, may I see you all alive in the war. **

**~W.R.T.**


	4. Phones, Papers, Pens? Which one?

**Hello, it's Winter here, and I'm so happy to see that everyone enjoyed Chapter 3 so much, and enjoyed my story altogether! I cannot thank you all enough for reviewing, following, favoriting and reading this. I will try to not disappoint you all, I hope you all enjoy it! **

**Warning: the usual OOC-ness. Some unintentional 6996, Hibird and a lot of biting from Hibari. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own KHR. **

**Mafia Post It Wars**

**Chapter 4: If we can't use Post Its...**

"Herbivores, if I must say this again, I shall bite you all to death, and bring you all back just to bite you again." Hibari threatened, as his grip on his Tonfas tightened to the point his knuckles were turning white.

"B-But … What about our war?" Mukuro asked, clearly annoyed, sad, upset and not very happy. He had a scowl on his face and his hand held his trident, pointing it at the skylark.

"It is pointless, a waste of time, space and paper. I will not tolerate having you Herbivores waste anything." Hibari said, getting ready to attack.

"You can't just do that! The tenth did this for us, you should be grateful he did such a wonderful thing for us!" Gokudera said.

"I have to agree, this way of communicating with the family works better than face to face sometimes, it you gives you a warm feeling when you come from missions as well, can you let it go Hibari? Please?" Yamamoto said, clasping his hands together.

"No." Hibari simply replied "You all have computers, use them." He simply said and with that, the skylark walked off, leaving the 3 upset man to muse in the kitchen, but the skylark would return after the 3 left, just in case the Herbivores decided to ignore his order and put another Post it on the fridge.

* * *

Mukuro pouted as he rolled around the bed, his hair was a bit of a mess, clearly not as messy as it had been when he had woken up at 8 am one day, but still, his pineapple was sticking out in ALL DIRECTIONS again and his ponytail was curled up at the bottom, making him look like a cat. However, if he was a cat, he demanded a pet on the head or scratches behind his ear, and no one was around to do it.

Unfortunately for him, he did not see the other occupant in the bed and was kicked in the head, resulting with him falling backwards to the ground as the purple haired girl rubbed her eye and prepared to attack the intruder.

"Uhhh … Nagi, it's me, don't kick me" Mukuro groaned as he climbed up the bed, and saw Nagi relax and toss away her trident as she tried to get back to her sleep. "Nuuuu, don't sleep~ I'm bored, and it's 1 o'clock, you'll get fat if you eat chocolate all day and just sleep it off" He teased, but apparently it was the wrong thing to say since his (self-proclaimed) handsome face kissed the door in a flash. (of pain)

"Don't call me fat!" Nagi cried, blushing "I don't eat chocolate all day and that was only when I was 13, you're being mean, Mukuro-sama!" She continued as she brushed away some tears from yawning.

"Kufufufu, looks like you're awake now" Mukuro said before turning his pineapple head. "Now, what would you do if I told you the stupid Skylark just forbid us from continuing our Post It War?" He asked.

Nagi blinked, once, twice before materializing her trident in her hands with a dark aura around her. "How could he? It was the only thing our family could do together without trying to slit each others throats … and he just …" Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, Nagi faced Mukuro's amused expression. "Mukuro-sama, tell Bossu that we're having barbecue tonight and Hibari is on the menu." She said darkly.

"Very well, my dear Nagi." He said, and the Mist Guardians faded from their spots.

* * *

"Hibari, Hibari~" Hibird chirped as he landed on the Skylark's head.

"What is it Hibird, I want to take a nap" Hibari said, eyes still closed, the prefect had his arms behind his head, legs stretched outward and he was perfectly safe on the roof of the Vongola mansion, after all, if he caught any Herbivore trying to post notes again, he could be able to drop down and knock them out.

"Hibari … Herbivore! Post on net! Look! Look!" Hibird chirped in his cute voice, and Hibari couldn't help but let out a microscopic smile.

Without a word, the SKylark pulled out his phone and saw that the Herbivores had took his advice and used computers and their phones to text each other, _but why did they tag me in the e-mail list? _He asked himself as she scrolled down the contents. Eyes widening, and face turning red, the Skylark got angrier every second he scrolled down the page. Finally, he snapped.

Standing to his full height with his yellow fluff at the top of his head, the Skylark's grey blue eyes screamed murder. His Tonfas were out in a second, his Vongola Ring exploded with purple flames and his Vongola box was swaying back and forth, telling Hibari that Roll was ready for battle.

When he found the Herbivores, they would all be dead!

* * *

"PINEAPPLE HERBIVORE!" Hibari roared, kicking down the door of the Mist Guardians room. He could care less which of the two were in, they had both done something unforgivable, so it wouldn't matter who he bit to death first, however, he was surprised when his eyes met with a single purple orb. "Prepare to be bitten to death for you-"

"HENTAAAAI!" Nagi screamed as she ducked under the covers, covering herself completely, even her head went under the covers. Fortunately for Hibari, when Nagi ducked, he saw Mukuro's back. He was about to execute his superior ninja skills to jump him and stab him to oblivion, however the fact that Mukuro was shirtless had stopped him.

"Nng...Nagi, stop poking me … i'm still tired … unless you- " Mukuro turned around, meeting Hibari's gaze and had the decency to look sheepish. "Er … Skylark why are you here?" Mukuro asked, completely oblivious to the knocked down door and Hibari's shaking. "Ah... Nagi needs to get changed so ..."

"Herbivores … what you did was illegal! Rokudo Mukuro, you … you raped her..." Hibari hissed out.

"WHAT? I DID NOT! Besides, we're both over 18, Nagi's 23, I'm 26 … just like you,"

"Stop lying you pineapple pervert!"

"I'M NOT LYING, AND I'M NOT A PERVERT, YOU'RE THE PERVERT FOR WALKING IN ON NAGI CHANGING, YOU EVEN KNOCKED THE DOOR DOWN TO SEE HER, YOU **PERVERT!**"

"...This debate will continue at another time."

As Hibari walked out the … now broken doorway, Nagi poked her head out of the covers to meet Mukuro's mismatched eyes that shone in childish happiness.

"Well done, Nagi. The Skylark fell into our trap." Mukuro chuckled as Nagi sighed and broke off her concentration for her illusion as her body returned to her normal one, clothed and all. "Now, contact the stupid puppy and we'll be on to phase 2." Mukuro Kufufu'ed.

* * *

_How dare that stupid pineapple pervert call me a pervert? He's the pervert for doing things with someone younger than him, he probably forced her as well. _He thought as she stalked down the halls of the mansion, making sure to keep an eye out for a certain baseball idiot and stupid herbivorous puppy. When the two did not show signs of doing something unforgivable, Hibari still kept a close eye on them.

However, after a month and the two had not done anything out of the regular destruction, arguing, bill paying, and missions, Hibari let his predatory gaze find another prey.

That was the biggest mistake of his life.

Not even 3 minutes after he deemed the baseball idiot and puppy Herbivores innocent in his eyes he receives the most disturbing message ever.

'_How is my pregnant little sister? -__**Yamamoto**__'_

'_What the hell? You're pregnant?! - __**Gokudera**__'_

'_What's pregnant? - __**Lambo**__'_

'_Congratz Nagi, who's the father? __**-Kyoko' **_

_No... It's a lie, and they're trying to piss me off, it's alright, it's a lie and I will-" _Hibari heard another beep from his phone, breaking him out of his self-reassuring state, and he glanced at his phone with a grimace.

'_OMFG. How did you all know?! __**-Chrome**__' _

"_I WILL KILL THEM ALL" _He roared in his mind, whipping out his Tonfas in a second, slamming his cloud flames into his Vongola Box in another, in total it took him 3 seconds to knock down another innocent door to the two Pineapple's room. However, he was shocked when he saw the Pineapples sitting rather calmly on the bed, the baseball idiot grinning and leaning on the wall, the puppy scowling but smirking as he leaned against the window sill. _"This is weird … but I will still KILL YOU ALL FOR BEING SO HERBIVOROUS!" _

"Pineapple pervert, you will be bitten to death for getting someone pregnant." Hibari hissed out, but he was met with confused gazes.

"Oya? I got someone pregnant?" Mukuro asked to no one in particular and rubbed his chin. "I haven't been in bed with anyone you know … it's impossible, unless a fangirl raped me in my sleep" The Pineapple concluded, shivering as the words left his mouth."

"Then what does this say?!" Hibari snarled, shoving the his phone right to the Pineapples face.

Mukuro lazily read through the text and looked up at Hibari's red face. He grabbed the Skylarks phone and scrolled down before shoving the phone into Hibari's face.

'_OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY! 'Adorable' I MEANT ADOREABLE, NOT PREGNANT! - __**Yamamoto**__' _

'_I-It's fine! I made a typo too, I thought I wrote 'why are you asking' but Mukuro-sama messed up the phone … TT~TT -__**Chrome**__- _

Hibari stared his phone. _"YOU TRAITOR" _

He looked up to stare into the smirking and grinning faces of the Herbivorous puppy and baseball idiot.

Then to the soft smile of Chrome, but glared at her, knowing the illusionist was hiding her evil cackle inside her mind, and finally to Mukuro's smirk and evil glare.

"...You useless Herbivores … if you cannot type correctly USE PEN AND PAPER" Hibari roared and a split second later, his head found the wall, and left a huge crater. " ...I take it back." He muttered, lifting his head before smashing it to the wall again, "Do NOT use pen and paper, continue using your phones." He muttered.

"Sorry, no can do Kyoya-kun~" Mukuro purred, and Nagi grinned demonically before holding out a voice recorder.

"_If you cannot type correctly USE PEN AND PAPER!" _

Gokudera smirked, and lit a cigarette in his mouth.

Yamamoto grinned a shit eating grin and patted Hibari on the back while laughing.

Chrome smiled so sweetly, Hibari felt his heart being torn and cuddled with.

and Mukuro … decided to dance out the room, down the hall, into Tsuna's office, out the window, into the forest, but then he accidentally got lost and danced his way out of the forest after 4 hours only to realize he had stepped onto Fangirl territory and was running across Italy for his life.

* * *

**OMAKE:**

**Hibird: Hibari! Pineapple Herbivore! Pregnant!**

**Hibari: Those two will be bitten to death for engaging in sexual activities when they're not married. **

**Mukuro: Oya~ You sound mad and do I sense a **_**little **_**bit of jealousy in your tone?**

**Hibari: What are you suggesting Herbivore?!**

**Mukuro: Oh I don't know, maybe you wanted to get my dear Nagi knocked up~ Kufufufu**

**Hibari: You will be bitten to death for suggesting something so ridiculous. **

**Chrome: Oh my god! I'm so sorry, it's an misunderstanding! It was 10 in the morning and I wrote 'Pregnant' by accident, I'm sorry! **

**Hibari: …**

**Mukuro: Kufufufu**

* * *

**End of Chapter 4. I hope it was funny for everyone, I personally think that while this chapter was good, it wasn't as funny ._. but please do tell me of your opinion. I always love reading how you spit out your milk going _sputter sputter _while laughing. **

**Onto a huge block of an A/N now. First of all, thank you to everyone who helped me find out its Cavallone, I get it, I do. Please ... stop telling me, thought that does mean people actually read this A/N so thank you, and make sure you keep reading to the end. **

**Second note to make, I've have requests for Varia to appear, don't worry, they will ALL appear at some point, if you're really desperate and NEED to 'see' them here, GO TO MY PROFILE AND PARTICIPATE IN THE POLL. I've made a poll asking which top 3 Varia members do you want to 'see' most for this fic, please do participate, otherwise I'll be throwing in randoms and you will need to wait forever until the one Varia you want makes an appearance. **

**Third note, Surprisingly I got a request to tell everyone what the hell happened to Chrome/Nagi when she was with Varia for a year, and yes, I will be doing that after I finish MPIW (Mafia Post ...), so stick with this story and I will notify anyone who is interested when that side story will be published.**

**Last note, and most important of all. I will be updating weekly, every Sunday. I'm not sure what time, but anywhere between 12 in the afternoon to 11 in the night, I might update on Saturday or Monday if I'm late/early, just don't expect me to update super frequently. **

**Thank you for reading this giant A/N block, if you have requests/questions/ opinions or anything else, please do review and tell me what you think, you're opinion matters for this story and I'll be glad to hear you out. Oh and if you spot a grammar, spelling mistake or something that's out of place tell me, I tried my best to correct it all, but I'm no professional and I make mistakes, tell me. **

**~W.R.T.**


	5. WWIII RIGHT HERE!

**OH MY GOD. FIRST OF ALL, I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE FOR BEING LATE! I'M SO SORRY, I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE, AND I HOPE THIS FIC MAKES UP FOR MY TARDINESS! **

**On another note, thank you for all the reviews, I kept looking at the reviews thing and I always see '49' I had half the mind to just wait for that 50 before posting this, but I'M ALREADY A DAY LATE, SO NO! Instead, I'll just make it a goal to get 100 for this story, so keep on telling me of your opinion, suggestions, requests, and even criticism and one day we shall all see that proud 100 (or 96) highlighted in blue with story! **

**I forgot all I had to say here, because I was rushing to post this, so just take a look at the A/N at the end. PLEASE. **

**Warning: Character Abuse … Evil Chrome … Byakuran Abuse … Hibari Abuse … yeah. You get the point. LOTS OF SWEARING. Some offensive things that aren't meant to be offensive but may be. Some songs that you may recognize...Lack of description, but no script. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own KHR. Danjo, or the Namimori Anthem.**

* * *

**MPIW**  
**Chapter 5: R.I.P. Fridge **

_'KUFUFU, KUFUFU NO FUUU~ - Mukuro' _

_'Stop wasting paper herbivore' _

_'I shall do whatever I want! - Mukuro' _

_'Then prepare to be bitten to death'_

_'No. I'm straight, STAY AWAY BITCH! - Mukuro' _

_'Figures your perverted mind would've jumped to that conclusion again' _

_'SILENCE, BITCH! - Mukuro' _

_'You shall be bitten to death. I AM NO ONES BITCH!' _

"IYYYAAAAAA!"

_'To the person who screamed like a woman at ten in the morning: You better be looking over your shoulder every minute - Chrome' _

_'Oya, someone woke you up? - Mukuro' _

_'Gee, I wonder how you figured that out' _

_'Kufufu, I have no idea what you're talking about - Mukuro' _

_'Give it up Pineapple bastard, we all know it was you - Gokudera' _

_'Haa, haa, haa so it was him who was screaming - Yamamoto' _

_'LIES! - Mukuro' _

_'Don't deny it' _

_'Yare, yare … whoever had the mind to have morning sex should be buried in the ground. Now. - Lambo' _

_'WHAT THE HELL HAS MUKURO TAUGHT YOU STUPID COW?! - Gokudera' _

_'Why the flying fuck am I automatically the number one suspect? - Mukuro' _

_'Because we all know you're a pervert. Pervert.' _

_'Coming from the one who walked in on Nagi changing, Kufufufu. -Mukuro' _

_'Hmpf, says the one who told her to make an illusion of her naked' _

_'Should I be concerned that my state of clothing is being a causal argument between two men? - Chrome' _

_'Yes, you should be concerned. Go with Varia for a week just so they don't attempt sexual harassment -Lambo' _

_'WHERE THE HELL DID YOU LEARN ALL THIS?! JUST A WEEK BEFORE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PREGNANT WAS (or is?) - Gokudera' _

_'Maa, Maa that means Lambo is growing up! - Yamamoto' _

_'Into the worlds most perverted playboy of the underground world - Gokudera' _

_'Don't worry, no one will steal that title away from that Trident Shamal or the Pineapple Pervert' _

_'Add Hibari Kyoya in there, we all know he's a firkin Perverted Vampire - Mukuro' _

_'Does Hibari being a Vampire have anything to do with that Monster Tamer cartoon show that strangely resembles us? - Tsuna' _

_'Jyuudaime! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! If we compare the two then we will find out that … (SCIRRBLE SCIRRBLE SCIRRBLE) - Gokudera' _

_**(I know most of you don't read my A/N's but here: Go to my profile, vote the fucking poll before Wednesday. Vote for your favorite Varia so I may take it down and prepare for the next. Thank you) **_

_'...Areee? - Chrome' _

_'...Goku-Gokudera's explanation - Tsuna' _

_'HAS BEEN ERASED! TAKE THAT BITCH! -Mukuro' _

_'SHUT UP PERVERT! -Gokudera' _

_'Herbivores, if another paper is wasted you will all (SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE)' _

_'...He meant to say that he'll rape you and suck all your blood like the PERVERTED VAMPIRE HE IS! - Mukuro' _

_'In that case you shall be my first victim' _

"EEEEIIIIIYYYYAAAAAA!"

_'Mukuro-sama , as much as I love you, you are all wasting paper, screaming before 12 o'clock, talking about me, and scribbling on other people's post its. That's mean, and on behalf of Boss and Hibari, I will have to punish you and everyone. - Not-so-nice-side-of-Chrome' _

_'...Kufufu, do your worst. - 69-pervert' _

_'...Wait... -Pineapple wanna-be' _

_'HEY! WHAT THE HELL?! - Secretly a woman, but a pineapple at the same time' _

_'Pfft. - Stupid Puppy' _

_'Hey...wait - Masochist'_

_'HOW DID YOU KNOW?! -An idiot' _

_'GYAHAHAHAHAHA I KNEW YOU ALWAYS HIT YOUR HEAD ON THE GROUND ON PURPOSE FOR A REASON! -Cowardly pervert' _

_'Chrome-nee that's mean. -Forever alone' _

_'...I'm crying in a corner, are you happy now? - In denial' _

_'Now to stop you idiots from wasting more paper … -Mr. Vampire Pervert' _

_'...Do you have a death wish? -Namimori Obsessed Weirdo' _

_'Dokuro, I will find you, when I do be prepared - The guy who didn't leave school even at age 24' _

_'Prepare for what? - Totally innocent and clueless' _

_''Totally innocent and clueless my ass -Smoke addict idiot who will die soon' _

_'Kufufufu … Chrome, you said you love me, if you do get rid of your illusions - Mukulu' _

_'I am pleased, Herbivore. -Hibaka' _

_'Pfft. -Ahodera' _

_'Sniffle. -Perverted Cow' _

_'THAT IS NOT FAIR, DON'T YOU LOVE ME TOO?! -Ahoshi' _

_'...I'm ruined for marriage - FOREVER ALONE' _

_'Hibaka, I have found the perfect song for you - Innocent Angel' _

_'Innocent my flying ass - Poopydera' _

_'__Midori tanabiku namimori no dainaku shounaku nami ga ii itsumo kawaranu sukoyaka kenage aa~ tomo ni utaou namimorichuu ~ - Dinner' _

_'Here's the song... _

_Sensei! The boys won't listen to what the guide says!_  
_Sensei! The girls went shopping and still haven't returned! _  
_Urusai! Get in line, don't mess with the regulations!_  
_Boy Girl Boy Girl - line in up in that order! _  
_Sensei! There's slightly more guys than girls!_  
_Sou Ka? Dattara~_  
_(EPIC SCRIBBLING MESS)' _

_'Hibaka, what have you done? -Evil Chrome' _

_'I have done the world a justice - Hibaka, baka, baka' _

_'Kufufu, I know that song, my dear Chrome always listens to it after Hibird sings that stupid Namimori anthem. -Mubaka' _

_'Dan-jo-dan-dan-jo-jo-dan-jo-dan-jo~ - Dead meat' _

_'We are serving Lamb tonight - Hibaka, baka, super baka!' _

"EEEEIIIIYAAAAA!"

"My god, SHUT UP!"

"You have no say, you're stupid master started this!"

"Kufufu, blaming everything on me now, how predictable of you disgusting Mafioso."

"Makes me wonder how disgusting of a Mafioso you are, pervert"

"I wouldn't be speaking if I were you, Hibaka!"

"No, no, Perverted Vampire sounds much better than that, but we can always call him Hibaka when he does choose the wrong decision"

"...Everyone..."

"JYUUDAIME!"

"Tsuna-nii~"

"Tsunayoshi-kun … Kufufufu"

"Herbivore..."

"Bossu..."

"What have you done?!"

"Eh?"

"What he means is why the hell the entire fridge is decorated with post it notes"

"EH?!"

"Wait, don't touch it bitches!"

"What was that?!"

"LOOK BITCHES!"

"...Yes, our colorful fridge that's stuck with neon post it notes. We shall send it to the Varia"

"NO! YOU BITCHES-"

"I am no one's bitch"

"YOU'RE MY BITCH AND YOU KNOW IT"

"Mubaka, get to the point already"

"Don't touch da fucking fridge! There's 96 Post its!"

"...and?"

"I will stab you all to oblivion if you add another or take one off of it"

"...Because?"

"It's my number and I'm more important than all of you, so IT FUCKING STAYS LIKE THAT!"

"..."

* * *

_On the other side of the Italian Border_

"-Sniffle, Sniffle- B-But what about me?! I'M 100! YOU BITCH, WHEN I SEE YOU, IMMA PUT THOSE 4 ON THE FRIDGE, JUST YOU WAIT DOKURO, And IMMA SEND MY MIST AFTER YOU!"

…

"Sniffle … just you wait"

* * *

**OMAKE: **

**Mukuro: On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me~ ONE M0THER FUCKING BITCH SLAP~**

**Chrome: On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me~ 2 Mukuros, and one m...m...f...b...SLAP! (Innocent Chrome here...)**

**Lambo: O-On the third day of Christmas my (So-called) true love gave to me~ 3 A-Alaudes, 2 Mukuros and ONE M0THER FU *SLAP* S-SLAP~**

**Gokudera: On the fourth day of Christmas my (stupid) true love gave to me~ 4 Dynamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 Mukuros and ONE M0T *SLAP* F *SLAP* B *SLAP* *SLLLAPP***

**Yamamoto: On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me~ 5 Tunas, 4 Dynamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 Mukuros and ONE …... SLAP!" **

**Hibaka: On the sixth day of Christmas my (Herbivorous) true love gave to me … 6 Singing Hibirds, 5 Tunas, 4 Dynamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 Pineapples, and ONE M*SLAP* F*SLAP* YOU BITCH! **

**Tsuna: On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me~ 7 Stupid babies, 6 Singing Hibirds, 5 Tunas, 4 Dynamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 Mukuros, and …... SLAP!**

**Ryohei: On the eighth day of Christmas my (EXTREME) true love gave to me~ 8 Boxing Gloves, 7 Stupid babies, 6 Singing Hibirds, 5 Tunas, 4 Dynamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 Mukuros, and ONE *ONII-SAN!* … SLAP!**

**Reborn: On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me~ 9 Dancing Leons, 8 Boxing Gloves, 7 Stupid babies, 6 Singing Hibirds, 5 Tsunas, 4 Dynamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 Mukuros, and ONE M0THER FUCKING BITCH SLAP~**

**Colonello: On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me~ (kora) 10 shots to the head, 9 Dancing Leons, 8 Boxing Gloves, 7 Stupid Babies, 6 Singing Hibirds, 5 Tunas, 4 Dyanamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 Mukuros, and ONE M0THER *COLONELLO!* … SLAP. **

**Viper: On the eleventh day of Christmas my (bloody) true love gave to me... 11 princely kisses, 10 shots to the head, 9 Dancing Leons, 8 Boxing Gloves, 7 Stupid babies, 6 Singing Hibirds, 5 Tunas, 4 Dynamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 PINEAPPLES, and ONE *MUFFLE MUFFLE* SLAP! **

**Winter: On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me~ 12 Fanfic Chapters, 12 princely kisses, 10 shots to the head, 9 Dancing Leons, 8 Boxing Gloves, 7 Stupid babies, 6 Singing Hibirds, 5 Tunas, 4 Dynamites, 3 Alaudes, 2 PINEAPPLES, and ONE *MUTTER MUTTER* SLAP! **

**Winter: Why we doing this again?**

**Giotto: BECAUSE WE CAN! **

**Vongola 10th and Arcobaleno: OAO *le gasp***

* * *

**The End. Of this chapter.**

**I apologize again for my tardiness, I apologize that it may ...lack a bit since I wanted to try all dialogue for once. Also, I will apologize if this chapter has offended anyone, or someone who is religious, god knows I did this with a good heart and only aimed to please, not harm. I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR THE SHORTNESS! **

**MOST IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW: GO TO MY PROFILE AND PARTICIPATE IN THE POLL, if you don't care which Varia is chosen in this fic, that's cool. But if you have an opinion, someone you love, ****GET YOUR ASS TO MY PROFILE AND VOTE BEFORE WEDNESDAY BITCHES!**

**Not much more of importance, but please, tell me if this is good, bad, lacking, different, and if you like you. Your opinion matters to me; it'll let me know if you are all ok with me doing stuff like this and if I don't offend anyone. I will not burn you via computer screen if you say something offending to me, so state your opinion and we will be good friends! **

**Thank you for reading, may we see you after the war! **

**~W.R.T.**


	6. Varia Quality Vacation

**...Thank you for the reviews. I feel really bad right now, because I didn't update on Sunday ... or Monday. I had work, my friend came back from China, I'm down with something, and I'm stuck in a bed! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. **

**On Tuesday I was already panicking and filled with guilt, so I just put this together for you all. It's not the best fanfic I've written for you, and everyone was looking forward to Squalo, so ... please just tell me your opinion, if it's shit I'll give you a rewrite next week WITH Fran's coming Monday. **

**Warnings: I did not have a Beta for this, it was somewhat rushed so sorry for spelling and grammar. LOTS OF SWEARING. Like every Post It had one swear word, or maybe some offending things. No pairings here, some Squalo abuse. AGAIN, BAD SPELLING AND GRAMMAR, FORGIVE ME. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own KHR.**

* * *

**MPIW**

**Chapter 6: Varia Quality**

"VRRRROOOIIII!" Though it was only 2 in the morning, a sudden loud yell tore through the sky. A man who suspiciously looked like a woman stood in front of a large chained black gate that looked like the gate to hell, he was dressed in a black uniform and on his right hand, and he had a sword. However, said sword was being waved around like a flag ... not what it should really be used for.

Anyway, back to the unfortunate situation that the long haired man does not see himself in...

"VRRROOOIII! YOU SCUM, I HAVE ARRIVED, NOW GET SOME TRASH OUT HERE TO OPEN YOUR FUCKIN GATES, TRASH!" The white haired man continued to scream and insult ... and wave his sword around madly. He continued to wave his hair and sword around for another good minute before he saw mist particles gathering behind the hellish gates in front of him.

Slowly the mist gathered, rose, and formed into the shape of...

"Oh...it's just you."

...and with that, the mist started scattering, separating and disappearing as if it was never there in the first place.

"VRRROOOIII, DOKURO, YOU BITCH, GET BACK HERE!"

* * *

...And that is how Superbia Squalo found himself screaming like a madwoman at 2 A.M. and waving his sword all the way until 6 in the morning. By the time the Vongola Decimo Guardians and the Boss himself were awake, Squalo had already unleashed his Box Weapon to vent his anger on the West Wing of their HQ.

"You stupid Herbivore, you shall be bitten to death."

"Maa, maa Hibari, you should be thankful, now that we don't have our recovery wing any more you don't always have to go to that 'Herbivore Infected Place' and you can just bite more people without resting!" Yamamoto said, attempting to indirectly cease their Cloud Guardian from committing murder.

"Yeah. Besides, we actually need Vongola's Independent Assassination Squad you know, you can't just go kill their 2nd in command like that you stupid ex-prefect" Gokudera said, a hand over his eyes, and a cigarette lying sideways in his mouth.

"VOI! SCREW YOU! WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU IGNORE ME ALL THE WAY UNTIL 6 IN THE FUCKING MORNING?!" Squalo yelled, waving his sword back and forth in the air, making sure to make it almost hit Yamamoto every time.

"Mm...Let's see ... I only heard a _boom _and a _pow, _but I thought I was dreaming of baseball so I ignored it!" Yamamoto cheerfully reported, completely oblivious to Squalo's murderous aura and Hibari and Gokudera's deadpan expression towards the cheerful idiot of Vongola's Rain Guardian.

"**YOU SCUM! NEXT TIME, I'LL BE DESTROYING YOUR SLEEPING QUARTERS!" **Squalo yelled, now thrusting his sword forward, attempting to stab Yamamoto through his chest.

"Herbivore, you are too loud." Hibari stated, lifting his Tonfas. "You shall be bitten to death"

"Shut up, Hibaka" Gokudera retorted. "How many times do I have to say that Jyuudaime would have your head if you even attempted to kill Varia's 2nd in command?" He continued, ignoring the ex-prefect's growing irritation.

"Then I shall bite our herbivorous boss before biting the rest of the Varia to death" Hibari simply answered, and Gokudera slammed a hand on his forehead.

"So..." Gokudera said, this time taking his hands off his face and turning his emerald eyes to the white haired shark man. "What are you here for? I doubt Varia has vacations."

"..."

"You're kidding me"

"...Voi. You know our boss is so shitty, I can't even bring myself to scream at this"

* * *

"VOI. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Squalo yelled upon entering the kitchen, he had been looking for some food and since he required some Varia quality breakfast, he decided to invade their entire fridge. _MUHAHAHAHA. _However, when he rested his eyes on something bright, blinding, and hurting, he immediately pointed his sword arm to the hideous offending object.

"Oh?" He turned to the side where he saw the stupid cow-child (Chrome Vocabulary here), and EXTREME idiot sitting at the table to the side, wearing shades as they ate their breakfast. "Yare, yare ... why would Varia be here, I thought they didn't give vacations" The Cow-child continued, raking a hand through his filthy hair.

"VOI! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?! **WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT OFFENDING TRASH?!**" Squalo demanded once more, waving his sword at the colorful neon covered object that was once known as a fridge.

"Oh, that would be our EXTREME fridge!" The boxing idiot finally said, contributing to the shouting contest.

"THAT...IS YOUR FUCKING FRIDGE?! FUCK THAT TRASH, SEND IT TO THE MENTAL INSTITUTION, IT'S THE FUCKING PERFECT GIFT FOR THEM!"

"OH! My thoughts exactly, TO THE EXTREME!"

"Tsk. So loud, shut up would you, Varia, Onii-san?"

"Not before I add another one on the fridge. TO THE EXTREME!"

**"YOU TRASH, IT'S FUCKING COLOURFUL ENOUGH, DON'T ADD ANOTHER ONE!" **

* * *

"...VOI. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Squalo screamed, scaring off nearby maids and butlers down the hall. In front of the shark man was a giant bulletin board that was covered with small amounts of sticky notes of multiple colors. Upon inspecting them, Squalo found bits and parts of conversations.

_'Who was screaming at 2 in the morning? - Tsuna' _

_'Opps. I think I left Squalo-Taichou outside when he was screaming - Chrome' _

_'Kufufufu, you weren't hurt were you, dear? - Mukuro' _

_'Nope. But I bet he's pissed = 3 = - Chrome' _

_'So it was your fault that the Shark herbivore was screaming all the way until 6'_

_'Nope. Squalo-Taichou was just stupid enough to stand there until 6 instead of doing a break and enter - Chrome' _

Staring at the board, Squalo couldn't help but feel insulted. Well, that wouldn't do, he was Varia for fucks sake, and Varia would NOT be brought down by something as stupid as this, therefore the shark man brought out a stack of white post it notes that were MAGICALLY in his pocket at the time.

_'VOI! DOKURO YOU BITCH YOU BETTER BE RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE, I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU A 2 HOUR HEAD START, TRASH! -S.S.' _

Satisfied, he pulled out shades from his pocket ... again it was MAGICALLY there, and he dashed off towards the kitchen, this time, hell bent on raiding the Vongola fridge to make a Varia quality breakfast for himself, and himself only. _MUHAHAHAHA.  
_

* * *

With half a sandwich sticking out of his mouth, Squalo happily returned to the bulletin board again, he chewed on his sandwich as he read through the Post its, noting that every color was on it'

_'Challenge accepted, you shitty shark, everyone is now involved - Evil Chrome' _

_'DAMIT, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU STUPID SHARK! - Boss's Puppy' _

_'WE'RE DOOMED, FUCK YOU! - Perverted Cow' _

_'...I shall not go through this humiliation again, you herbivorous woman - Hibaka' _

_'Kufufufu, you shall not be spared, Hibaka Kyotan - Perverted Mastermind' _

_'... - Tuna Boss' _

_'DAMIT - Tuna fish'_

...Squalo gave a hard look at the post its. "DAMIT, THAT'S ONE SUPEREFFECTIVE ATTACK... I WON'T LOSE TO YOU BITCH!"

* * *

_'Asshole'_

_'Bitch'_

_'Cunt'_

_'Dick'_

_'Excuse me?'_

_'Fucktard' _

_'Guidare la mia carne' (_Loose translation of ride my meat)

_'Hoe'_

_'Introvert'_

_'Jackass' _

_'Kiss-ass'_

_'Limp-Dick_

_'Motherfucker' _

_'Nad-sack!'_

_'OBESE-IDIOT'_

_'Puhhhlease, bitch' _

_'Qafad?' (dafaq)_

_'RAF' (Rough as fuck; unattractive)_

_'Shittakefuck!'_

_'Thundercunt' (idiot)_

_'Unclefucker'_

_'Va-jj'_

_'Whore'_

_'Xanxus (enough said)'_

_'Yamamoto was here and thinks that this conversation shall be erased and burned. FOREVER'_

_'Zonk!' _

_'OH! OH! OH, LAST ONE IS TAKEN BY ME, I WIN DOKURO!' _

_'...That last word was a bit anti-climactic ... ne? - Chrome' _

_'VOI! DON'T BE A SORE LOSER, DOKURO, I WON, ADMIT IT!' _

_'Che. That cussing contest wasn't my intention anyway. Say goodbye to your Alo Jr. - Chrome' _

_'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Epic scribbling mess) - S.S'_

_'...I still say we burn this... - Yamamoto' _

_'Alo Jr.?'_

_'It's this (epic scribbling mess)' - Chrome_

_'Back off bitch' - Chrome_

_'NEVER, YOU (epic scribbling mess) - S.S._

_'...Why has a shark plushie landed on my head?'_

* * *

Tsuna couldn't help but stare at the bulletin board with a slack jaw. It wasn't like their fridge that was ... quite unfortunate, but it was the contents ... the IMPURITY OF THE WORDS that CHROME DOKURO, his female mist Guardian, the supposed OPPOSITE OF MUKURO ROKUDO! Wrote on her Post its.

With a twitching eye and a silent growl, he made his way to the kitchen, where all his family and Squalo were sitting at the table, wearing shades, holding onto a bottle of beer, and all sporting blushes. Looking at the lights above him, he realized that there were no lights at all, making his no doubt drunk family and one Squalo look more evil and stupid than they really did look.

"Everyone ... just one thing ..." He said, trying to sound sweet and not so angry.

"VVOOOIII, THIS TASTE LIKE SHIT!" Squalo roared, waving his hair and sword around as he slammed the bottle down, hard on the table.

"SHUUUUUDAPP, DIS ISH DA BESSSS SHEEEITT!" Chrome exclaimed drunkily, standing unstably as she waved her middle finger at Squalo's face.

"KUFUUuuufuu NAAAGGGIEEE!" Mukuro whined, throwing himself over Chrome, an attempt to stop the girl from doing such impure things. However, Mukuro was too heavy for something like Chrome (who was pretty much skin and bones) and the two toppled over.

"Grrrruullll..." Hibari growled, turning his head to the two fallen pineapples in disgust.

"Minna-san..." Tsuna tried again, though in vain.

"JYUUUDAIII- GLURP!" Gokudera's face turned green and in the corner you saw

"TUUNAAAA!"

"EVERYONE! LISTEN!"

...Unfortunately for our dear Tuna Boss, his pleas were all ignored as his Guardians all drunk themselves to stupor, courtesy of one Squalo who outdrank them all before fainting on the ground with all of them.

"...Why do I even try?" The lion haired boss groaned, letting his resolve light up his Vongola Ring before slamming it gently yet firmly into his Box Weapon. "Natsu. Cambio Forma ..."

"Gao~"

Quickly skipping through a few forms, Tsuna was finally wearing his Primo's Mittens and was standing in front of the bulletin board.

"BIG BANG AXEL!"

"NOOO! BOSS!"

"JYUUDAIME!"

"TSSUNNAA! NO!"

"NO YOU STUPID MAFIOSO!"

"HERBIVORE!"

"VOIII YOU-"

**BANG. **

/././././././

"...How many times do I need to say that I won't treat guys, I only treat woman ... Oh~ Lookie, its Chrome!"

"Geff yew hanfs offf hew" A mummified pineapple spoke.

"Hnffff" A mummified Skylark spoke.

"Tuufffwaaa" Yamamoto mummy spoke.

"...It's fine, we'll just get Lussuria over here in a few days. While I'm doing that, you shall all prepare for the bulletin boards funeral"

* * *

Alo Jr. - Squalo's Box Weapon is nicknamed Alo. If you haven't figured it out, Alo Jr. is a shark plushie Squalo owns

Sorry for any OOC that was too EXTREME.

* * *

**END.**

**Again, I am very sorry for being late, giving you a shitty chapter, and making a bad Squalo here. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry x million, and sorry TO THE EXTREME. I don't have a Beta and I pretty much typed this with the last of my life-span, I'm sorry for mistakes, and again, giving you all a shitty chapter.**

**I apologize from the bottom of my heart. **

**The least I can do for you all would be if you hated it, I would rewrite it and post the rewrite and the Fran chapter next Monday for you all. Also The poll results: **

**FRAN got 1****ST****. SQUALO got 2****ND****. XANXUS got 3****RD****. BEL got 4****TH****, FEM! MAMMON GOT 5****TH****, LUSSURIA got 6****TH****, and LEVI … died in the poll. I know that according to the poll Fran should be here first, but I just had to put Squalo here first, I've always dreamed of him fighting against a evil Chrome for some reason, but here's a preview for Fran's. **

**Preview:**

"Once upon a gruesome, awful, pineapple-ly time, there lived an evil, pineapple wizard who would cackle all day and whistle to an awful song that hypnotized all who heard it. He was a narcissist who would spend all his time looking in front of a mirror. One day, his wicked, nasty, twisted mind thought to turn his mirror into a magical mirror to determine who was the fairest of all"

"Kufufufu~ Kufufu, Kufufu no fuuu~ Oh dearest, mirrior~ who in this beautiful soon-to-be-pineapple world is the most beautiful, most fairest, and handsome of all~?" He would ask. In response, the mirror blurred and showed an image … of one …

"Kufu? Oya? Have I ever let my beautiful, amazing, highly intelligent mind work some black magic to make a female version of me? Kufufufu, no matter, I shall get rid of this hideous, disgusting, impure imitation of me and gain world domination through beauty"

With that, the pineapple wizard, got to work immediately, he made many plans, but they all failed. He couldn't phantom why his flawless, thought-out, magnificent pineapple quality plans always failed. Therefore, he reluctantly picked up his pineapple phone and dialed for some disgusting, unintelligent, ugly acquaintances for assistance.

_To be continued~_

**~W.R.T.**


	7. Fairy Tale REMIX

**...Before I start anything, you must all have realized that THE SUNDAY THING ISN'T GOING TO WORK. I'm loaded with homework, my grades are … somewhat slipping, I used to get 3+ - 4, 78-80-92 and right now I'm getting like 3+ 4-, 87, 98. Yeah, not that happy, so I may spend some time studying more than computering. (Not a word, but still...)**

**Anyway, I'm sorry for being late, the Sunday thing isn't going to work, but I will be updating, somewhat slowly, but it's still going to be there. So, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED, FAVORTIED, FOLLOWED OR EVEN JUST READ THIS STORY. PLEASE STAY WITH ME THROUGH THICK AND THIN TO THE END OF THIS LOVELY ABUSIVE STORY. **

**Warnings: They're all going to be so OOC, you won't even recognize them. LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR, SPELLING MISTAKES, GRAMMAR MISTAKES, ALL KINDS OF MISTAKES and it won't be as hilarious as the others ... but this one continues for another 2 chapters. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own KHR. **

**Mafia Post It Wars**  
**Chapter 7: Fairy Tales. REMIX.**

* * *

For once, the entire Vongola Famiglia was seated at a rather long table in a dark creep room. No, they weren't in their lovely kitchen where their fridge: named Accecante for its … unique coloring, instead they decided to use their actual dining room, the one they never really used because it was too formal for such a close family like themselves, however, when you had Accecante in the kitchen …

It went without saying that they decided to move their temporary kitchen to the dark creepy room for now until their new fridge was shipped over to Italy. However, the dark creepy room had its effects on each family member as well.

Tsuna who normally walked into their usual kitchen with a bright smile had a neutral expression on his face since he walked into this stupid dark room. He would usually greet his Guardians quite happily; however, the dark room had made it seem like a serious meeting, causing Tsuna to turn a bit more cold than usual for his mornings.

Gokudera who was quite the two-faced person would usually be like his ten years younger self and greet Tsuna with a loud "GOOD MORNING JYUUDAIME!", however, when things were serious looking, dark and creepy he would automatically switch himself to a proper mature right hand man that would grunt, smoke, and calmly use reason. Thus, Tsuna did not reason a loud "GOOD MORNING JYUUDAIME!" this morning and instead received a grunt, and a "Morning" from the silver haired man.

Yamamoto, who would normally skip into the kitchen was now walking (oh the horror) into the kitchen, his normally face splitting grin only a small secretive smile as he greeted his family without the usual cheerfulness and enthusiasm as he walked into the dark creepy unmotivated room.

Now, came the worst two of all the Guardians. Chrome and Mukuro would usually wobble into the kitchen, crash into walls, other people, and hit their face on the fridge … in unison, before reaching their strawberry and pineapple milk to wake up from their drowsiness, but when you enter a Mafia looking room, the two pineapples who had faced EXTREME dangers at young ages, would snap up at attention. And MARCH to their seats before eating.

Next came in Hibari, not much different than usual, but the Decimo's family could tell that Hibari being there is already a great pleasure for a morning breakfast, but the only reason the aloof cloud stepped into the room to crowd for breakfast was because the rest of the Herbivores weren't as herbivorous as usual.

Well, all in all, if the Vongola Decimo had to choose the one person who'd be the most 'normal' one to the dark creep room they ate breakfast in, it would be Lambo. The young boy would drag himself into the room, scratching his filthy hair while yawning, but as soon as he sat down, he would be shivering as he ate his breakfast like the coward he was...but that was normal Lambo behavior.

(I did not abandon Ryohei; he's out for his morning jog and on his way to the Italian border right now)

The only problem was that the poor family had been doing this for 3 weeks; they would have a quiet and quick breakfast before they all went to their duties, be it missions or just training, but now that their mornings have been quieter, so have the rest of their days. So thank the lord when a green haired man wearing a frog hat decided to pay the Vongola a visit.

* * *

"Areee? Chrome-nee, is that you?" Fran asked.

Chrome blinked, and turned her head to the clock. It was 2 A.M. She sighed and turned her head back to the speaker, who was crouching beside her bed and currently holding onto an indigo box weapon.

"Yes, Fran, it's me, who else would you bother at 2 in the morning?" She asked bitterly, rubbing her eyes and swinging her feet onto the floor, making sure not to hit Fran as much as she wanted to slap him to death.

"That's mean" The boy said in a complete monotone voice and with a straight face. "but at least you're way better than the Pineapple Fairy, I went to visit him and he just kicked my head" He reported to her, and she nodded, making a mental note to slap Mukuro a few times for hurting her brother.

"But Fran … why are you here, in the Vongola Mansion, I mean. I thought you had a lot of missions since Bel-san and Mammon-san ditched their jobs to you" Chrome said, tilting her head and patting Fran's frog hat.

"Hm...You could say I'm running away from home, I guess" The boy spoke, again monotonously and with a straight face.

"...That's not good, but I guess anyone would want to run away from Varia, we'll just have to tell boss when it's morning." With that, Chrome dove under her covers again.

"Chromeee-neeee..." _SHING_"...I apologize for you disturbing you" Fran whispered out before tossing away the black uniform, left with only a white t-shirt and grabbing some random pants on the floor, he crawled next to Chrome and the two illusionists fell asleep.

* * *

"KKKKYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!"

"Whoooaaa! Shishou, you _really _sound like Chrome-nee!"

"Nrrg...Who the pfffufff ish dat?" Chrome asked, her voice muffled by the pillow she clutched onto.

"It's just the Pedo Bear, rest assured, it'll go away soon"

"YOU! WHAT YOU ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"I? I am protecting Chrome-nee from the Pedo Bear, now shoo, go away or else we'll give you a combo illusion!"

"Kufufufu, stupid pupil, my dear sweet Chrome would never attack me-"

"That's what you think~"

"URUSEI! SHINU! BAKA PINEAPPLE!"

"IYYYYYYYAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

"A-Ahh...Sorry about that Mukuro-sama..."

"Kufufufu … It's fine, you were out of your mind when you woke up at 8, I understand."

"You're just denying the fact that she hates you"

"Shut up, stupid pupil" Mukuro said, irritated, stabbing his frog hat with his trident.

"Itaiiii … Chrome-nee, Pineapple Shisho is stabbing me~"

"Shut up" Another stab.

Chrome sighed, and stood up, making the two men stop their monotonous whining and stabbing. "I've had enough of you two bothering me. First, Fran you know that I need sleep and should never wake anyone up at 2 in the morning and Mukuro-sama, Fran didn't do anything wrong, so stop stabbing him" She scolded, "Now, if only you two can do something together without killing each other …"

"...Without killing each other...THAT'S IT!"

The two men did not like the evil smile she had on her face.

* * *

"Herbivore hunting, Herbivore hunting!" Hibird sang on Hibari's shoulder as the Skylark stalked down the halls angrily. He woke up with a headache, and no it was not from drinking alcohol, and said headache made it impossible for him to nap. Therefore, he would do the next best thing: Hunting down herbivores and biting them to death until the headache passed over.

He bit the stupid puppy herbivore to death already, he bit the extreme herbivore, and the cow herbivore, now if only he could find the pineapple herbivore and the stupid woman herbivore … his sharp steel eyes found the clock … 12:00 no doubt they'd be in their creepy kitchen by now, perfect. He might as well destroy the room while he was biting the pineapple herbivores to death.

"Pretty colors, pretty colors!" Hibird sang as Hibari stood there in shock, his grip on the doors to the creepy room loosened and he found himself staring at Post It notes that started from the door and made a neat and ordered line on the walls … to the floor, onto the tables, and then … up the ceiling apparently … he turned to see the door had a giant sign that read 'Start here' and said sign pointed to a pale sticky note: the first note that started this madness!

_"Once upon a gruesome, awful, pineapple-ly time, there lived an evil, pineapple wizard who would cackle all day and whistle to an awful song that hypnotized all who heard it. He was a narcissist who would spend all his time looking in front of a mirror. One day, his wicked, nasty, twisted mind thought to turn his mirror into a magical mirror to determine who was the fairest of all" - Fran_

_"Kufufufu~ Kufufu, Kufufu no fuuu~ Oh dearest, mirror~ who in this beautiful soon-to-be-pineapple world is the most beautiful, most fairest, and handsome of all~?" He would ask. In response, the mirror blurred and showed an image … of one …_  
_"Kufu? Oya? Have I ever let my beautiful, amazing, highly intelligent mind work some black magic to make a female version of me? Kufufufu, no matter, I shall get rid of this hideous, disgusting, impure imitation of me and gain world domination through beauty" The pineapple wizard said." - Fran_

_With that, the pineapple wizard, got to work immediately, he made many plans, but they all failed. He couldn't phantom why his flawless, thought-out, magnificent pineapple quality plans always failed. Therefore, he reluctantly picked up his pineapple phone and dialed for some disgusting, unintelligent, ugly acquaintances for assistance. - Fran _

_(Just so we're clear, I'm only doing this for my dear sweet Chrome) "Hello?" The wizard growled into the phone, awaiting the 'EXTREME' that would be on the other side. - Mukuro _

_(This seems fun TO THE EXTREME!) "EXTREMEEEEE, hello there Wizard-san, it's EXTREMELY rare for you to call me, what seems to be the EXTREME matter?" Ryohei, the gatekeeper of the cemetery roared into the phone. - Ryohei_

_"Kufufu, I need your help … as much as I deny and hate to admit it" The wizard gritted out. "I need one girl dead. An imposture, a terrible looking existence that could never be as great as I, dares to mock me" The wizard gritted out - Mukuro_

_"Hm... I see, but I can't be of help TO THE EXTREME, I just keep robbers and thieves away from the cemetery to keep the EXTREME dead resting in peace" The gatekeeper said - Ryohei_

_"Kufufufu, in that case, prepare an extra space immediately, the girl will be dead very soon, and it's best to get her into the earth and out of my sight faster" With that, the wizard rudely hung up on the gatekeeper and dialed another person. - Mukuro_

_Not far from the wizard's tower, there lived a peaceful village that lived in happiness and often times ignored the wizard's claims and declarations of beauty. In this peaceful village, there lived one girl named Nagi, whose parents were killed, and now lives with her 2 stepsisters and stepmother. She is treated terribly and lives in fear. - Fran (P.S. I will play the sisters and mothers) _

_"Nagi! You piece of shit, clean up this mess!" Levia growled out, making her face uglier than usual as Nagi scrambled to the 'mess'- Fran_

_"Scum. You missed a spot." Anux, the older of the two stepsisters spat out as Nagi rushed to clean the mess that the two have created. And coincidentally, their stepmother arrived in all her glory above the stairs. - Fran_

_"VOOI! Nagi you trash! What did you do?!" Squala, their stepmother screeched out, flipping her long silver hair like the bitch she was. - Fran _

_(This … is messed up, but entertaining ^_^) "E-Err, Anux and Levia messed something up and …" However, Nagi was soon interrupted by both her stepsisters' protests. Her stepmother gave her a glare and proceeded to lecture her on lying, being honest, and taking the blame. - Chrome_

_"VOOOOIIII! YOU TRASH! LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M SPEAKING!" Squala roared, but then turned her voice volume slightly lower to her daughters. "Tonight, the Prince is having a ball … he plans to find a wife in this ball, Anux, Levia, you two better be able to score the Prince, that way we'll be living rich and happy forever!" The mother cackled out evilly. - Fran_

_"Of course" Levia cooed disgustingly, making her ugly face all scrunched up again. "Living with a prince is like a fairytale, a dream come true, all the money I - we- could use if it were with him" - Fran_

_"At least I could get away with killing scum" Anux muttered before turning his gaze over to Nagi. "You. Scum, prepare the dress for me, make sure it is the best or you'll be suffering the consequences" Anux growled before picking her nose and walked back to her room. Levia also demanded Nagi that she make her dress before stomping to her room. - Fran _

_(. . . I'm fine with you all posting, just don't go overboard =. =) As Nagi's stepmother and stepsisters leave, the girl was left alone in the dusty room, left with her new responsibilities, however, she was soon joined by her three friends. The three little mice, which were magical and were able to give Cinderella some help and comfort. - Tsuna_

_"Hey, there Chrome! Don't listen to those idiots!" Tsu-mice said, waving a small hand in the air, "They're all just meanies, ignore them!" He continued. - Tsuna. _

_(Alright, Boss) "Tsu-mice … I can't do that, Anux would kill me … really, and Levia would probably roast you all and I can't have my friends being roasted." Nagi replied, turning her head around the room, looking for anything that could've been used to make a dress. "This could be a problem; I don't seem to have anything to use to make a dress..." She bit her nails in worry. - Chrome_

_(Che, you all better heed Jyuudaime's warning and not go posting crazy on this, THIS MEANS YOU, DOKURO!) Go-mice came out from the little mice hole in the living room, frantically searching for the leader of them three mice. He saw the stupid woman biting her nails in worry and couldn't help but to insult her. "Oi! Baka onna, what's got your invisible tail all tied up in a knot?" He growled out. - Gokudera. _

_(Hahahaha, this is such a fun game, especially with so many people!) Yama-mice quickly followed Go-mice, finding Nagi and his friends in the room. "Hahaha! What seems to be the matter, Nagi, if we can help we will you know" Yama-mice said. - Yamamoto _

_(Yup, it's really fun with a lot of people) "Well... I need to make dresses for Anux and Levia, most likely stepmother as well … not to mention my own dress." Nagi bit her lip with worry. "I don't know where to get materials and all, I do know how to sew … I think, so can you all help me with this predicament?" Nagi asked. - Chrome_

_"Of course, Nagi! We'll get it to you as soon as possible!" Tsu-mice said, crawling back into the mice hole that lead to the city, he would definitely help Nagi finish the dress, otherwise his friend would be killed! - Tsuna_

_"Che. Fine, since Tsu-mice-sama said we should help you, I'll go help Tsu-mice-sama look for material" Go-mice said, quickly following Tsu-mice. - Gokudera_

_"Hahahahahahaha! A scavenger hunt? That sounds fun, don't worry, I'll come back with the materials first!" Yama-mice said, happily running back into the mice-hole, leaving Nagi to her own devices for now. - Yamamoto. _

Suddenly, Hibari found himself kissing the wall, letting the door squish his backside. He heard a monotonous "Areee? I feel like I squished a bug" and a vein popped in his forehead. _He was a carnivore, not just disgusting herbivorous insect! _And Hibari decided to show the herbivorous idiot just how carnivorous he was … until the door smacked his face when he turned around.

"Oh … it's you, the Skylark!" Fran announced, monotonously. Then he shut the door and took a look at the 'Start here' sign pointing to his own pale green post it. "Oh, I see, you were reading our post it story … and you probably stopped at the part where the mice were getting Chrome-nee's materials … which oh-so-happens to be behind the door where I squished you." Fran bopped his fist onto his palm.

"I won't apologize"

Hibari saw red, and chased the stupid frog around the stupid creepy room that would soon be filled with post its.

* * *

"Ushishishi … Fraaaannnn~ Why are all the way here with the Vongola brats?" A self-proclaiming blonde prince with a nest shaped haircut asked, his tiara shining beautifully under the stupid sun that threatened to burn Hibari Vampire who was hiding in the shadows.

"I'm running away from home!" Fran announced monotonously and somewhat proudly, he only received a boot to the head for that, "Ow...Viper-nee, why did you do that. Its child-abuse, I'm calling the cops"

"Muu...Don't call me Viper. It's Mammon." Mammon said, flicking the other Varia illusionist on the forehead. "Boss is pissed off, they need an illusionist for their next mission and you were missing"

"Ushishishi … that line sounds familiar …"

"Ehh? Mammon-nee, why are you here then, why don't you go" Fran whined, pointing out the obvious to the purple haired illusionist.

Mammon simply turned around and she lifted her hands into the air, in an evil monotonous voice she proudly proclaimed "SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE MONEY!"

...Which lead to this

"SCREW THE RULES, I'M DA BOSS!"

"SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE GREEN HAIR!"

"SCREW THE RULES, I'M EXTREME!"

"SCREW THE MONEY, I HAVE RULES … Wait, what?"

… and 3 hours later, Squalo and a pissed off Xanxus arrived at Vongola mansion to find Mammon, Bel and Fran unconscious with the Vongola brats with them … all unconscious.

"...Scum" He scoffed, as he walked past them and to the door where they passed out in front of. He opened the door … and then slammed it into Squalo's face. Ignoring the angry protests, Xanxus read the start here sign with a bored expression and continued reading the trashy story his trashy underlings and the Vongola brats wrote before taking out two cans, shook them then with his right hand he started spraying the black can of paint over the colorful post it notes, stepping back he brought his other hand and wrote in huge, red, dripping letters.

"SCUM"

_Like a boss. _Xanxus thought as he walked out from the Vongola's hellish gates, with Squalo dragging Bel and Fran and had a (WILD!) Mammon on his back getting a free (WHEEEE) Piggy back ride.

* * *

**FAIRY TALE REMIX … TO BE CONTINUED FOR A GOOD 2 MORE CHAPTERS.**

**(THANK YOU CHIBI-ONNE-CHAN FOR HELPING ME FIND THAT MISTAKE!) **

**I apologize for any spelling and grammar mistakes. I also apologize if things aren't clear, if things were out of order, but most of the time, you are intelligent enough to figure out what it really meant, I apologize if it wasn't as hilarious as the only ones, but the Cinderella Remix I have will be continuing with your favorite Varia characters! **

**While you're at it, there's a poll on my profile concerning the use of 1 OC. The details are there, I don't want to drown you all with a huge A/N, see you sometime next week my dear readers. **

**~W.R.T.**


	8. Fairy Tale REMIX 2

**Hello everyone. It's almost been a month since I've updated, I apologize. As much as I love writing and Fanfic-ing, I believe that education and my future comes first, sorry. I did try to add in paragraphs or parts over the month though and this is the result! It's shorter. ****I'm stuck on writers block. So updates will be slow!**

**Moving onto the great news...**

**I HAVE 100 REVIEWS! **

**I know it says 89 or something, but if you count anons and some people who didn't log in at a particular time, I HAVE 100 REVIEWS! **

**Long Live Marshmallows! Was the e 100th reviewer! I don't know if you're a guy or a girl, but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH (NO HOMO JUST IN CASE OR ANY WEIRD MEANINGS) YOU ARE AMAZING, YOU'VE STUCK WITH THIS SINCE CHAPTER 0.1 AND 1, and I still see you around with MANY OTHERS WHO HAVE STUCK WITH THIS SINCE CHAPTER 1! THANK YOU ALL! THANK YOU LONG LIVE MARSHMALLOWS! **

**Warning: Short...er. 1896, Fran, Bel, STUCK ON WRITERS BLOCK! I APOLOGIZE FOR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own KHR.**

* * *

_"Nagi-chan! I've returned!" a light voice whispered as he hopped out of his mouse hole and into a dark, shady room. "Nagi-chan?" Tsu-mice questioned, looking around for the purple haired girl - Tsuna_

_"Tsu-mice, is that you?" Nagi whispered back from her corner of the room, she silently stood up and tiptoed to where the little mice stood before lifting him up to eye level with her hands. - Chrome_

_"Yea! It's me, I came back from searching for material, and I couldn't find that much …" Tsu-mice said sadly, but he cheered up and added, "What i did find though, was this!" And he jumped off of Nagi's palms before rushing into the hole and emerged with 6 different colored long silk fabrics. "I know it isn't much, but I hope this is good enough for you, Nagi" Tsu-mice said, handing over the silks. - Tsuna_

_"Oh. My" Nagi lightly gasped, touching over the silks before turning to Tsu-mice, "This is perfect, there's no need to worry, thank you very much Tsu-mice" She thanked before patting the mouse on his head and handing him a small block of cheese. - Chrome_

_Go-mice huffed as he dragged a small bag behind him as he returned to Nagi's room. He blinked at the dark shadiness of the room before spotting their mouse leader and the stupid woman. He placed the bag in front of her and looked to the side. "Couldn't find much, but that should be enough … troublesome woman" He muttered. - Gokudera_

_Nagi blinked at Go-mice before opening the small bag, finding gems, shiny stones, and sparkly parts of jewelry. She peeked at the small mouse that had turned its head away from her and smiled. "Thank you Go-mice, these are beautiful." She said, closing the small bag before setting it on top of the silks. - Chrome_

_"Aww..." Yama-mice sulked as he rushed out of the mouse hole. "It seems I'm the last one to come back …" He then turned around and started pulling out a lot of items and random pieces of scrap, "but it looks like I got more things than Go-mice and Tsu-mice!" He cheered, presenting the materials he had retrieved. - Yamamoto_

_Nagi's eyes widen in surprise as Yama-mice presented many different things like frills, ribbons, sewing needles, threads, flowers and much more! … Was that a cupcake? Nonetheless, Nagi thanked Yama-mice and rewarded them all with blocks of cheese before they all scurried off back home. Nagi, on the other hand, set the items on the table, sat down and began her work. - Chrome_

* * *

Chrome sighed as she lightly slapped the Post It next to Yamamoto's and took a few steps back and away from the wall. Her lone eye travelled from the door of the uber creepy room that still had the 'Start Here' sign, and all the way across to the first corner of the room … where Chrome had just posted her Post It.

"Hm … We've already covered a quarter of the room … if we continue, we'll probably cover the entire wall and Boss will be mad … but then we'll be killed by readers for not completing the story… decisions, decisions …" The Mist of Vongola muttered under her breath as she got lost in her thoughts, unfortunately, that's when the door opened without warning or any kind of cue.

There stood, one calm aloof vampire that had his pale hands in his black pockets, unruly hair ruffled like a nest and cold steel eyes darting from one side of the room to the other before resting his 'I'LL BITE YOU TO DEATH WITH MY STARE' gaze onto the purple haired woman.

"Herbivore" He spoke, letting his irritation lace with his words, and His Majesties words seemed to have shaken Chrome out of her _other _la-la-land. (One that she did not share with Mukuro. Ever)

"Oh. Cloud Man" Chrome greeted as she turned her lone eye onto the Skylark/Vampire before turning to look at her watch. "You're early … by like half the day. It's only 12 o'clock, are you sick, hungry, bloodthirsty, or dying?" She asked innocently, even tilting her head to the side for a good extra measure … that caused the Skylark/Vampire to inwardly snap.

"None of the above, and don't mind my business" He coldly spoke before turning his gaze onto the wall behind her. Only to blink a few times to adjust to the … uniqueness and brightness of it. So much for a dark, creepy looking room. "Tell me where the Monkey King is so I can bite him to death for vandalizing Vongola property." He demanded.

Chrome sighed, taking a long slender pale hand through her bangs before taking off her pineapple ponytail, using the same hand to rake through her long strands, she casted a look at the opposite wall to their Post It notes … where someone had done a masterpiece of black spray paint with the word 'SCUM' in red over it. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Cloud Man." She finally said, and Hibari snapped.

"Woman, I have a name and nowhere on my birth certificate does it say 'Cloud' or 'Man', I will bite to death for standing around like a stupid Herbivore and because you have defiled discipline for not revealing the Monkey Kings location" He said, MAGICALLY bringing out his Tonfas from his Vampire cape.

"Hey!" Chrome barked ducking a blow. "It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just that it's not really a big deal … ok, you win, I don't want to tell you" She deadpanned before resigning to her fate, Hibari narrowed his eyes as Chrome brought out a small revolver from under her skirt … no he did not blush. HE DIDN'T BLUSH. DAMNIT HE DIDN-

He did.

The most annoying thing was probably that the Herbivorous Woman didn't actually have bullet in her small gun, but paintballs … that undoubtedly ruin his suit every time they sparred … and she knew it, making him even more irritated.

After he received 2 blue paintballs to the chest, 4 orange to his legs, and a green paintball at his yellow puffball labeled: Hibird, he finally decided to land the killing bite/blow, but he was stopped when the door burst open with a loud bang.

"MATTE!" A loud monotonous voice cried out, the two Guardians looked to see Fran standing with both his arms up in the air with an expressionless face. "I have returned, and this time you won't escape me you Vampire!" He declared, disappearing and reappearing on the table.

"Ushishishi, how stupid Froggy. That is not a Vampire, that is a beast … a werewolf, one who cannot match my princely looks or brains." Bel laughed, slowly walking in with a haughty air swirling and twinkling around him.

"Shut up, Bel-senpai, you're just a fallen prince, you have no royalty whatsoever" Fran replied.

"Shut up" Bel returned, throwing a few knives to the frog head.

"Itai, desu. I'm telling Mammon" He said without expression, flying out the door behind them all.

"Don't you dare!" Bel yelled, chasing after the flying green frog.

Chrome found herself staring just for a few seconds longer than necessary, giving Hibari the chance to grab her by the waist and heave her over his shoulder, letting her butt face the front and her face the back.

"M-Matte. What are you trying to do" She asked, twisting her head to see the ex-prefect smirk.

"I am simply handing out your punishment" He said, as he marched down the halls.

"Hey! Wait!"

"VRRRROOOOOOOI" A scream tore down the hall. "Dokuro, you bitch, what the hell happened to you?" Squalo screamed, once again waving his flag sword around in the air, letting his *her* hair fly around.

"Hibari's gunna rape me" She sniffled innocently, letting fake tears swell around her lone purple eye.

In a flash! of blue, Mukuro crashed tackled Hibari before taking Chrome into his hands and stood up, holding Chrome in a bridal style and staring down at Hibari.

"YOU SICK PERVERT, I KNEW YOU WERE A PERVERT WHEN YOU CRASHED DOWN THE DOOR"

"I am not a pervert, you're just jumping to herbivorous conclusions because of your sick mind"

"ME?! SICK?! LOOK WHOSE TALKING!"

"Pineapple-Shishou. You're being a hypocrite."

"YOU!" Mukuro shrieked, "Why are you here?!" He screamed in frustration.

"To make a deal"

"Eh?"

"Hn?"

"Areee?"

"...Voi?"

"Shishi?"

* * *

Fran twirled around, and was suddenly dressed up in a black suit, black tie and black dress pants … and POOF his hat was gone! The hallway swirled until it became a pitch black room with a small dim light hanging down above a wooden table with chairs for everyone there. Fran ushered everyone to take a seat as he walked around the table and the seated.

"Hibari frikin Kyoya" He monotoned, before taking a piece of paper from his pockets and gave a glance. "I have a proposal for you" He said, causing the Skylark/Vampire to narrow his eyes.

"I don't want anything, and anything you could offer would be to herbivorous-"

"Even her?" Fran asked, taking Chrome out of Mukuro's hands.

"Hn..."

"If I give you Chrome-nee and I tell you Stupid Boss's location will you do me a favor?"

"...Give me the location and give the herbivorous woman at night and we might have a deal"

"D-Don't I get a say in this?"

"No" Both men monotoned, leaving the purple haired girl in fake tears.

"You can't just give away my Chrome!"

"Not if she comes to me on her own"

"SHE WOULD NEVER DO THAT! NO! NOT MY PRECIOUS CHROME!"

"She will be mine someday, pineapple bastard, might as well give your wishing, approval and the other herbivorous stuff."

"NEVER"

"Pineapple-Shishou, you're ruining everything, go away." Fran scolded before turning back to Hibari. "If I give Chrome-nee, Boss's location and … embarrassing photos of Pineapple-Shishou will you give a favor?"

"Yes" Hibari smirked to Mukuro's absolute horror and despair.

"NOOOOOOO" SNAP.

"Ahaaaa...I caught it on photo!" Fran monotoned proudly holding a camera up.

"-Sniffle-"

"Now what favor do you want Herbivore?"

"Oh, it's simple. Here"

"..."

"VOI. WHAT DOES IT SAY?!"

"..."

"Hibari...you...OH GOD, FRAN?"

"Yes?"

"You're making him..."

"Yup~"

"Ku...Kufufu...Kufufu...Kufufufu fu … No. I do not allow it."

"You have no say bitch, stay out of this"

"I AM NO ONE'S BITCH, KUFUFUFU!"

"Hn. seems interesting, very well, I accept this invitation."

"Yay! All fear Prince Hibari Kyoya who will wed Nagi!"

"NOOOOO" Mukuro cried

"VROIIII WHAT THE HELL?" Squalo exclaimed, face red.

"I'm ruined … for marriage" Chrome sniffled, nibbling on chocolate for support.

"HA. HA. HA. HA." Fran monotonously laughed.

* * *

Well, the rest of the Vongola Guardians and Varia would never know why they found Bel, Squalo, Mukuro, Fran and Chrome unconscious in the hallway. With the males sporting bruises all over and Chrome holding onto chocolate.

* * *

**End. MAKE SURE TO READ THE BELOW, IT'S IMPORTANT**

**If some of the dialogue messes you up, then REST ASSURED, there is no particular person speaking, it could anyone. If you're really curious ask me and I can tell you who is speaking at what. **

**If it made no sense here: ****HIBARI IS THE PRINCE FOR THE CINDERELLA REMIX! FRAN STRUCK A DEAL AND KYOYA ACCEPTED TO TAKE THE HERBIVOROUS WOMAN AS HIS 'BRIDE'.**

* * *

**I'm sorry for a not-so-great chapter twice in a row. I'm stuck on writers block, I am sick therefore motivation runs away quickly, ideas get cut off and eaten by Hibird, and I don't know where to go.**

**Concerning the POLL I PUT UP! About an OC. It seems most people are fine with it as long as I tone it down … but there is a good fair bit that will attempt to murder Winter (FOR IT IS I) if I did … so here's what I'll do: I'll mention OC. But OC will not appear. Ever. In this story, in the mansion, in the main plot. OC will only be MENTIONED like in a letter, text, phone, small things. Got it? Cool.**


	9. Fairy Tale REMIX 3

**Hello. I've been missing for … 2 weeks-ish? Hello again! Sadly, I am still stuck on a writer's block, and god knows that one shant ever write when you have this, but I decided to try. It's going to be … bland, not as funny as usual, lack of plot, idea, you know...the type of stuff that is typed when one has writers block.**

**Anyway, good stuff: OFFICIAL 100TH REVIEWER HAS BEEN FOUND! Samantha Riccio!**

**To Samantha Riccio: I read you stories, when I saw you reviewing EACH of my chapters, I was hyperven...something, and almost crying and squealing. I love your stories, you are an amazing writer, and I … am so … moved to have you read this! Please do continue reading until the very end of this! I hope I don't disappoint and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! For reviewing and sharing your opinion!**

**And to EVERYONE! THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR OPINION, YOUR OPINION MATTERS! IT HELPS ME, YOU, AND OTHER READERS! NEVER BE AFRAID TO SHARE YOUR OPINION WITH ME! I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT WHEN I SAW 112 REVIEWS! THANK YOU!**

**And sorry for the crappy chapter v.v**

**Warning: Writers Block. Crappy. 189669, Mammon X Bel (FOR YOU NINETAILSGIRL94) and some … disturbing moments. WILL CONTAIN SPELLING AND/OR GRAMMAR MISTAKES, I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own KHR.**

**Edit: THERE IS A POLL ON MY PAGE TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE VONGOLA PRIMO GUARDIAN OR DA BOSS HIMSELF! GO VOTE!**

* * *

"How's Chrome?" Gokudera asked gruffly as he rudely shoved the door of the two mist guardians' room open. His head was soon introduced to a foot that left him flying to the wall. "Ugh! What the f-" He bit off the end of his curse as he held his head and cracked an eye open to see what the fuck hit him.

_Sniffle _

In his line of sight, he saw the purple haired mist guardian sitting in a curled up position on the bed. Her face was hidden behind the purple hair that was let out from the pineapple ponytail, but Gokudera could tell that the purplentte was crying.

Suddenly, from the right of the room, Mukuro danced his way around the bed and latched himself onto Chrome's waist. "Chhhrrrooommme!" Mukuro purred as he snuggled into her warmth. "Don't cry, my dear Chrome." He cooed, but Chrome didn't hear it, she shoved Mukuro's pineapple head away from her, kicked his ass (literally) and pulled on his ponytail, hard.

"IYYYA! My dear Chrome~" Mukuro cried, flailing his arms around, trying to ease the pain.

"Shaddup" Chrome sniffled, as she threw a … tin foil ball... Wait, where did she get that?

"Itai, Itai, Itai, OW SHIT THAT HIT MY-" Mukuro was quickly silenced with Chrome shoving 7 inch high heels onto his … yeah ... there, Gokudera winced, feeling pity for the stupid pineapple haired illusionist. Making up his mind, he tip toed silently to the door …

Mukuro opened his tear filled eyes, seeing Gokudera, his heterochromatic eyes sparkled, but quickly turned into doom and despair when Gokudera bowed his head and slowly … slowly, tipped the door.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_KLAMP_

Gokudera placed his head on the door as he heard Mukuro's screams from the other side. "Can't believe I'm saying this but … Sorry Rokudo, every man for themselves when Dokuro's unleashing hell" He muttered as he walked away from the door after bowing to it once more, praying for the blue pineapple fairy's survival.

* * *

x-x-x-x-x-x

"Areeeeee?"

"Mu. Shut up, you've been talking nonstop for the last 55 minutes, if you speak again, I'll have to charge you for opening your mouth" Mammon snapped at the green haired boy who was crouching on the ground like a frog and had his head tilted to the sky, or rather the ceiling as they were under the roof of the Vongola Mansion after all.

"Ne, Mammon-san, can't you hear it?" Fran asked, turning his head over his shoulder, only to see Bel's knife headed for his face. "That was dangerous, Bel-sempai" He monotoned.

"Ushishishishi, silence stupid Froggy, the Prince and Mammy heard that, after all, I am a Prince!" Bel chuckled as he slung an arm around Mammon's shoulder.

Mammon, though, turned her head to the Varia Storm. "How many times … do I have to tell you not to call me Mammy?" She asked, strangely in a monotone as well.

"Ushishishi, I am a Prince, and you are my Princess...the Prince is allowed to call his Princess as anything he wishes to" He answered her, taking a princely finger to lift her chin up to his face, but before anything could happen, a wisp of mist formed between the two of them, Mammon jerked her head back at the last moment, leaving Bel to the attack from Fran.

"Fran, what did you do?" Mammon asked, turning to the green haired illusionist who merely pointed at the prince. Mammon turned her head and stared … then she covered her mouth and began to shake …

_Holy shit … Bel's kissing a frog _

With that thought in mind, she proceeded to burst into a laughing fit with Fran laughing monotonously with her and leaving Bel speechless, in shock, and promptly fainting afterwards. Fran cheered, and sambaed his way to Bel's side, he stuck his tongue out and then kicked the tiara from the prince.

"Ha. Ha. Ha" Fran attempted to laugh evilly. "Finally! The fallen prince now has a fallen tiara!"

"That wasn't funny. For sounding stupid, you will have to pay a fine of 500$" Mammon informed the green haired illusionist as she kicked his ass (literally), but Fran recovered quickly, grabbing the tiara, he broke into a sprint through the Vongola halls.

"So … how did Fran end up here again?" Tsuna asked, as he turned his head over to the green haired mummy I... mean, illusionist, lying like the dead on the pale white bed. _Man, even Mukuro wouldn't go to that extent; he must've done something terrible to himself..._Tsuna though as he turned to the only other person in the room. "Mammon? What happened to Fran?"

"Hm? Oh, the stupid frog was sambaing his way down the hall, then he twirled around, tripped, and went flying down the stairs"

"That doesn't sound so bad..."

"Until he stopped in front of Hibari Kyoya"

"Ah...I see... Pity."

"Hm..." Mammon nodded in agreement, and then turned her head to the other person in the room who was currently mummified. "And how did he get himself in here?"

"Well... Gokudera did warn me that Chrome was mad … so whatever happened, Mukuro must've deserved it" Tsuna deadpanned, ignoring the anime tears falling off Mukuro's bandages.

_**((Sorry to interrupt, for those interested, go to my page, there's an effing poll, VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE VONGOLA PRIMO GUARDIAN OR DA BOSS HIMSELF TO APPEAR IN THE UPCOMING/FUTURE CHAPTERS! GO, GO, GO! VOTE ON MY PROFILE/PAGE)) **  
_

* * *

_(Ahaaaa...The stupid frog is in the infirmary, and so is that useless pineapple fairy, since I'm getting paid by the stupid snow fairy *Winter-san* I guess I can mess this up a fair bit) A week passed since Nagi started working on the dresses. With all the extra, useless, material, she was even able to make her own. And so, the big day finally rolled around. The three stupid idiotic sisters and mother came to demand the dresses from oh-so-poor-and-pitiful Nagi. - Mammon_

_"VRRROOOOOOIIIII, STUPID NAGI! HAND OVER THE DRESSES, LIKE" Cue the hair flip. "NOW!" Their deranged mother roared, waving her hair like a flippin' tablecloth as she held out her hand rudely. _

_"Trash. Give it over, or you die" _

_"You stupid girl! We aren't going to be able to live rich and die happily if you keep us!" _

_(Mammon-san... tone the stupid's down) Nagi meekly nodded and handed each of their dresses to them. Letting Anux take the hot pink dress that had frills and pearls along the edges and letting Levia take the pale pink dress that had lots of flowers and feathers sticking out, before quickly getting changed into her own. A simple black dress that went down all the way, and had a halter-ish top. - Chrome_

_Anux and Levia snorted, sneered and laughed before tearing the dress a bit. Anux took out her gun and fired, it grazed the halter-part around her neck and was falling off quickly while Levia took out an umbrella and poked Nagi's pineapple hair with it. - Mammon_

_Nagi quickly held her top part up as she attempted to not let the tears spill. Her dress was ruined, her hair had been touched, and someone was going to go to hell for it - Chrome_

_"There's no way anyone is going to look your way, Nagi. Just stay home and clean up the house! Look at the mess you made!" Levia sneered, knocking a giant glass of lemonade on her way out the door. _

_"Hmpf. Trash doesn't deserve to go to un-trash-like ceremonies. Stay here and do your maid-ly duties" Anux growled, stomping out the door as she hid her gun elsewhere. _

_"VRRROOOOIIIII, YOU HEARD THAT? STAY JUST HERE AND CLEAN THE SHIT UP! AND WHEN I COME BACK, I BETTER NOT SEE SHIT! YOU HEAR?" The mother screeched, swinging her head around to keep the hair out of her face. However, on her way out, her head hit the door and she fell down...unconscious with blood pooling around her head. _

_"...Hmpf. Trash." Anux commented as she stepped over the slowly-dying mother. - Mammon_

_'Ahaaaa...Yay! One down, 2 more to go' Nagi thought as Anux slammed the door behind her. First, she chopped the mother's body apart and threw it into the fire before she started sulking in a corner about her ruined dress and her dream of seeing a prince. - Chrome _

_(I better be getting paid extra for playing another part) suddenly, a dark figure kicked the door down at Nagi's house; it was floating, had a hood over its head and kicked Nagi into the garden behind their house. - Mammon_

_Nagi had anime tears running down her cheeks as her ass burned in pain, she looked up to the figure and her eyes sparkled at the sight. "A fairy?" She whispered. - Chrome_

_"No." The figure replied. "I am … A PIXIE!" The figure yelled dramatically, raising its hands to the sky before dropping them down to its side again, looking all gloomy and mysterious. "Now, moving onto more important business. I've heard your wishes, and you will need to pay me a good 40000 euros for fixing your dress and another 50000000 Canadian dollars for me to get you to the party with sparkly effects" The figure said, getting a chair and table out of nowhere for the two of them. - Mammon _

_"You can do that?" Nagi asked eyes still sparkly as she took a seat. "I'll pay you the 40000 euros for the dress, but I can't possibly pay in Canadian dollars or that much..." She pouted. "But, I can give you some food maybe" She offered. - Chrome_

_"Hm...The only other thing I need is the cursed wizard, the Mukuro, dead. Dead. Dead. Dead …." The PIXIE mumbled. - Mammon _

_"Deal, no one gave a crap about him anyway, as soon as I can I will have him sleeping in the Earth" She promised. "Now...HAND OVER THE SPARKLY EFFECTS!" - Chrome_

_"Shut up child, the sparkly effects only last till 12, so you better get your ass back here before 12 and start working on getting the wizard dead. Until next time, Arrivederci" The figure said, taking out a pixie wand and waved it around before sparkles appeared out of nowhere and formed a pumpkin carriage, horses, and some other sparkly effects. Oh, and Nagi's dress was fixed to what it originally was … plus the sparkles. _

_"Now, shoo, be-gone, GTFO!" The pixie roared, shoving Nagi into the carriage before kicking the horse's ass, sending the carriage sprinting through town and to the castle. - Mammon. _

_As the carriage arrived at the castle, Nagi stumbled her way down the stairs and began her journey up the long, long, long, oh-so-dearly long stairs. (Where is Hibaka?) - Chrome_

_(Silence, Herbivore) Hibario [The 'O' is for Ouji...It's crappy, I'm sorry] the fearsome prince of the village, tall, handsome, and deadly was sleeping peacefully on his bed until his stupid herbivorous mother and maids marched in and dressed him up before shoving him into the ballroom filled with herbivores and other weak looking herbivores. - Hibari _

_(Is it just me, or did Hibari pull a 'Because I'm a prince' like Bel did when he said tall, handsome, and deadly?) At last, Nagi climbed up all of the stupid stairs, but she was so tired, she knew she would be unable to handle attention and everything else that would happen from inside the stuffed ballroom and decided to hang around the balcony outside. - Chrome_

_Hibario ignored all the talking from the herbivores that had crowded around him, instead, he rudely pushed his way out of the crowd and jumped out the window, landing perfectly on his two feet on the balcony outside - Hibari_

_Nagi squeaked as someone seemingly fell down beside her, see took a good look and saw a dark haired and dressed boy who had pale features before blushing, a stupid heredity from her real mother. - Chrome_

_"Oh, great, another herbivore" Hibario sighed. - Hibari_

_"I am not a herbivore. I eat meat, too. Stupid" She huffed. - Chrome_

_"...Wao...An omnivore..." Hibario smirked, finally turning his head to the girl - Hibari_

_"You don't say." Nagi rolled her eyes, but continued to blush as the dark haired boy smirked at her. "Were you educated enough...everyone knows that humans are omnivores" She muttered. - Chrome_

_"Silence, herbivore. I am a prince, of course I was educated" Hibario hissed - Hibari _

_(LOL. Bel reference!) "P-Prince? … Wow...I, I didn't know...you look pretty stupid" Nagi said, honestly. - Chrome_

_"...Are you suicidal?" - Hibari_

_"No. I am insane." - Chrome_

_"I will bite you to death" - Hibari_

_"I will run away, with my dying will." - Chrome_

* * *

As Hibari was just about to post his next post it on the wall, Mukuro came flying through the windows, intercepted between the wall and the post it Hibari had in his hand. "MATTE!" The blue pineapple yelled. (For those who know Danjo, it's the same 'MATTE!' used when they say 'Wait! Don't make up your own rules' or something like that) the blue haired pineapple 'kufufufu'ed before setting the post it Hibari had in a realistic illusionary fire.

"I shall not allow you post another one. Things have been too romantic for you, and my Chrome. This means things are going to fast...SLOW DAFAQ DOWN! IF YOU'RE GOING THIS FAST, IT'LL BE A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE MY PRECIOUS CHROME LOSES HER VIRGINITY!"

"Herbivore, what do you think you're doing? It is too late to change anything now, the marriage contract has been signed, my fiancée is now happily eating chocolate and playing with Hibird, you are going to be killed by your precious Chrome … even if it's in this herbivorous story, you're still dying" Hibari smirked. "While I get married to your precious … in reality and in this herbivorous story"

Pineapple fairy sniffled, and casted sparkles towards the perverted vampire. "Stupid herbivore, the sparkles won't work on me! I naturally sparkle when the spotlight hits me...which is always"

"Silence, bitch!" The fairy sniffled, grabbing a pack of skittles, ripped it open, and threw them at the vampire. "TASTE THE RAINBOWS BITCH!"

"What the f-"

Before the vampire could retaliate; the fairy made illusionary pineapples in his hands, and threw them at the vampire. "GO, PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU! … GODDAMNIT, COME OUT OF YOUR PINE-A-BALL!" The fairy roared before tsking and taking things to plan 3 …

* * *

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"...So, what happened again?"

"Hm...Well, let's just say a little birdie told me that something exploded, I went to check, and I found a beautiful pink, fluffy land … and I brought the wounded to the medical tent." Chrome smiled, petting Hibird, who chirped before flying over to Tsuna's head, pecked it once, and left the Vongola 10th's head bleeding a small fountain.

"Ahaaaa...as expected of Hibird" Tsuna sweat dropped attempted to stop the blood. "Anyway, how are things with you and Hibari's marriage? Hibari seemed quite happy in my opinion … but how are things on your end Chrome? … Chrome?"

_NOMNOMNOM_

Tsuna turned to see the purple haired mist nibbling on chocolate... before wrapping the paper up into a ball, and tossed it at him with deadly strength and accuracy. The boss fell over with another blood fountain coming out of his forehead. "Ah! I'm sorry, I'm sorry I asked!" Tsuna whimpered as another hit his ass and another hit his back.

* * *

**The. Crappy. Ending.**

_**Edit: THERE'S A POLL ON MY PAGE, GO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE VONGOLA PRIMO GUARDIAN OR DA BOSS HIMSELF! **_

**I'm sorry; I'm stuck on writers block. But I wanted to give you all, the next chapter within … this month. And, I am so unmotivated since the manga is ending. Soon. AND 6996 IS NOT CANNON YET! Don't get me wrong, I believe that Chrome can go with ANYONE! She's just that fucking special and epic to be so flexible in MOST of the crackish pairings.**

**Moving on, I hope that the OC reference Mammon made wasn't too … story-cannon. : P**

**Next time, I'm just going to give you the summary here, for those who usually read my A/N's today is your lucky day, here you go:**

**As Hibario and Nagi continue their carnivorous/herbivorous debate, hiding in the shadows, 2 men smirked. and readied their weapons, only to have the two walk into the castle. They tsked, and decided to wait; after all, they had the whole night to accomplish what the pineapple wizard had assigned them to do.**

**Wait patiently for the next chapter. (If you want to share your opinion, give a suggestion, request, complaint, or ask a question, please Review. I want to know what you think of me writing during a writer's block, Review to tell me I suck, Thank You)**

**~W.R.T.**


	10. Special Chapter! 1896

**This is an OMAKE chapter. Details and answers concerning about this weird update will be posted AT THE BOTTOM A/N. Thank you. Please do read it...I know most of you do, but for those who don't or sometimes don't, make sure you ready it.**

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**Warning: 1896. Fran acting like Mukuro...I'M SORRY FOR GRAMMAR AND SPELLING!**  
**Disclaimer: I don't own KHR**

**IMPORTANT: GO TO MY PROFILE, THERE'S A POLL CONCERNING THE APPEARANCE OF THE PRIMO GUARDIANS. VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE GUARDIAN OR DA BOSS HIMSELF AND THEY MIGHT APPEAR AFTER THE VARIA ARC!**

* * *

In a dark foggy room stood one dressed up vampire. His cool steel blue eyes shifted from one side of the fog to another, keeping his position and refusing to move. He merely glared at the wooden table and chair that was presented in the most innocent way possible in front of him before snorting and turning away, only to sense a certain shift in the fog that covered the room.

The fog slowly shifted to mist, which then rose and swirled before revealing a young boy with green hair and an expressionless face.

"Hn. What do you want, you herbivore" He demanded, letting his weapons, his Tonfas, slip down onto his arms, ready to bite the green haired illusionist for dragging him to such a … undefined, undisciplined, misty place.

"Well, since the stupid pineapple fairy messed up the meeting last time, I might as well just do it again" Fran answered not wincing as a Tonfa flew right into his face and toppled him over. "Itaiiii..." He drowned on as he stood up and rubbed his face a few times to rid the pain.

"Silence." Hibari ordered as he went to retrieve the fallen Tonfa. "I will not go through another negotiation, the deal has been sealed and nothing will change it" He growled.

"Ah. Don't worry about that, I wasn't going to change anything about the deal we already made, it's something else" Fran quickly said, waving his hands to try to clear the misunderstanding that was forming in the ex-prefects mind.

"Wao?" Hibari smirked. "That sounds pretty ridiculous to me. I have what I want and you have what you need, there won't be any way that I'll be helping you in your stupid herbivorous plans again, you herbivore" He said.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that Hibari Kyoya" Fran said, waving his hand.

As mist slowly formed around his hand, Fran suddenly snapped his hands and POOF! Away with the Varia uniform and Hibari's suit and quickly an illusion of casual clothing appeared on both males.

"Herbivore...what are you planning?" Hibari hissed, his murderous aura slowly seeping out of him like an about-to-explode volcano.

"Wouldn't you like to know...?" Fran muttered, but another Tonfa found its way to his face, leaving him on the ground with a dent on his face. "Ugh...alright, alright, I'll tell you, stop ruining my face. I don't want to end up as ugly as Levi" He muttered the last part to himself as he stood up and dusted off dust from his light blue jeans. He coughed twice before pointing to the chair and table in front of Hibari. "Take a seat, and we will begin"

Hibari retrieved the Tonfa and slumped into his seat..._How uncomfortable_He mentally noted.

"Moving onto the main point, this is about Chrome" Fran said, watching carefully for any reaction on the Skylarks' face.

Hibari merely raised an eyebrow. "What about that herbivore" He asked.

"Don't try to act nonchalant, I have ears and eyes … and a stalking master" Fran replied. "We've all seen the way you two have that...that secret eye message thing, the way you two _magically_ meet on the same road, on the same day of the week, _every time_." Fran exaggerated and Hibari only snorted and looked to the side.

"And? How does this matter to you?"

"Wow. You're such an idiot"

_FWA-PU..._

"Itaiiii..."

"Hmpf."

"Geez, just calm down! This is important you know!" Fran huffed. "Chrome-nee is basically my non-blood-related sister...because M.M. should just die in a hole, and I really should've refused to give her to you, but it was for the greater good, and now I regret it" Fran sulked. "She was my only sister...and I just gave her away to...to a monster...that will make her cry every day, every night, _sniffle_, damnit, and you're going to wed her! Fictionally, but still! If she finds out just how terrible you are in terms of affection, she'd think that every guy would be just as bad as you are and never fall in love! And then ...and then!"

_FWA-PU...PU, PU, PU_

"What makes you think that I would do that to _m-_that herbivore" Hibari hissed out.

"I'm sorry, I could've sworn I heard an 'M' somewhere in there, care to repeat?" Fran asked, still sniffling.

"No. All you need to know is that-"

_"Kyoya!" _A distant call came from somewhere … and the two males turned their heads to the direction.

"Pull down the illusion herbivore" Hibari ordered, and Fran could only sniffle as he let his illusion down, revealing Chrome Dokuro, clad in a black hoodie, black jeans, and black boots, standing just next to Hibari.

"Kyoya...why is Fran here?" She asked, tilting her head innocently to the side as she regarded her non-blood-related-youngest-brother.

"...I have no idea." Hibari lied; Fran could only gasp in shock.

"LIES! YOU BITCH! I KNEW YOU WOULD RUIN HER LIFE FOREVER! SCREW THE FORMAL SHIT, SAVE THAT FOR THE FUNERAL, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Fran screamed, jumping up with his box weapon in hand. "Nebbia Serpente! BITE THAT BITCH TO DEATH!"

Hibari's eyes darkened, "Stealing is forbidden … in all countries, for stealing my catchphrase, you shall be bitten to death" He informed the green haired victim.

"W-Wait you two!"

"Don't stop me Nagi...this herbivore needs to be bitten to death for his interference...and herbivore-ness." Hibari said.

"N-Nagi...HOW DARE YOU!"

"F-Fran! Please listen" She said softly...and when he started throwing a tantrum, Chrome sat on top of him and sighed. "Look. Last chapter, what Boss said was a misunderstanding!"

"I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT! THAT MONSTER!" He pointed to Hibari who stood with a bored face. "WANTED YOUR VIRGINITYYYYYYYY! WE MUST KILL HIM BEFORE HE SUCCEEDS!"

Hibari sighed, and pulled Chrome up to her feet. "Talking will be useless to that herbivore right now. But you know what they say" He lowered his head to her level. "Actions speak louder than words" He whispered before crashing his lips to hers. Chrome made a small sound...somewhat of a moan that snapped Fran out of his tantrum.

"Y-YOU!" Fran squeaked as they parted.

"Just listen you herbivore...the two of us have been … courting each other since the beginning few chapters … the deal you made only sealed the deal with our … future mating process... and since I go by Japanese traditions, I have the right to ask her hand in marriage" Hibari explained, standing tall and unmoving as Chrome leaned onto his chest.

"Kyoya...shut up. It's embarrassing when you use your animal kingdom language to speak about these things" She muffled into his shirt before turning to Fran. "What he means is that we've been dating for like … 3 months since the start of Boss's post it wars, the deal you made when you said you'd give me to him, even if it's for a night, was like … the man of the house giving the daughter away and all since he goes by Japanese traditions he has every right to ask me to marry him now." Chrome explained.

"...AND YOU AGREED?" Fran managed to gasp out.

"W-Well. No...I-It's too fast!"

"No, you're just too slow"

"No, I'm not. You stupid carnivore"

"It doesn't matter, what you heard was wrong … because what Tsunayoshi thinks is always going to be wrong."

"That's mean..."

"Doesn't matter. Now go back to that pineapple bastard and tell him to just give the approval for the marriage already."

"I never said 'yes'"

"You just did."

In the end...Fran was the one eating chocolate in a corner while Nagi epically played the Wii and Kyoya decided to pay a lovely phone call to his dear boss about eavesdropping and being stupid.

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**The End.**

**GO TO MY PROFILE TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE PRIMO GUARDIAN OR DA BOSS HIMSELF!**

**Alright...this was an OMAKE chapter, because someone (I forgot who, I'm sorry) was kind enough to ask me "I thought that Chrome and Hibari were only going to be marrying in the story? It was real? I'm so confused" and I realized that in the middle of my disease, I have forgotten small details like that and decided to make an OMAKE concerning that little confusion there.**

**Besides, I owe you all a lot. You probably deserve more chapters and all; think of this chapter as an apology of sorts for diving into a writer's block and not constantly updating.**

**Until next time.**

**~W.R.T.**


	11. Fairy Tale REMIX 4

**First things first, I apologize for updating this late. It's already December, and I last updated on November 11th, yikes. Time flies. Anyway, I apologize again, but up to this point, most or some of you should know that I update infrequently and I attempt to make it as funny and as plot-filled as possible to make up for my tardiness. **

**Anyway, I realized that Mafia Post It Wars now has 10 chapters! I only realized after like … 2 weeks I threw up chapter 10 and I'm like "Oh wow, look! Chapter 10! When did I ever do that?" **

**Alright, I'll use magic and POOF outta here to let you read … after the usual warnings, notes and disclaimers!**

**Warnings: 1896. OOC-ness. DIDN'T CHECK SPELLING AND GRAMMAR CLOSELY, FIND A MISTAKE? TELL ME!**

**Note: THE POLL IS STILL UP FOR CHOOSING THE FIRST GENERATION, AFTER A DAY I UPDATE THIS CHAPTER, I WILL TAKE IT DOWN, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KHR.**

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Chapter 11:Fairy Tale Remix 4

Yamamoto smiled as he hummed and walked down the endless halls of Vongola HQ. He suddenly realized something and came to a stop.

"...Wasn't I suppose to turn right at the last corner?" He asked himself, but he didn't think for long. "Oh well, I'll just keep walking around, I'm sure I'll get there soon enough" He said cheerfully as he continued strolling down the halls.

True to his word, after an hour, he finally reached Tsuna's office still wearing the same smile he had an hour before. "Good morning Tsuna!" He greeted upon entering.

Tsuna returned the smile with a yawn. "Good morning Yamamoto-kun. You're a bit early … but then again, the rest of them could be just a bit late" Tsuna chuckled.

"Is that so? But, I don't think that's possible, Gokudera would never be late." Yamamoto said taking a seat after setting his sword to lean against his boss's desk.

"Oh right! I sent Gokudera to make some coffee, after all _he_ is on this mission … and _he'll_probably fall asleep." Tsuna said, sighing. "The only one I'm actually worried about is him, Mukuro. I had Hibari go to wake him up, but knowing him..."

"Hahaha! He probably ignored it and went off to take a nap on the roof" Yamamoto smiled, happy that he figured it out mostly on his own. "Hibari does seem to like taking naps on roofs...I wonder if he's ever fallen off or something..." Yamamoto muttered.

"Hiee?! I don't think that'll ever happen Yamamoto-kun … it's Hibari after all..." Tsuna replied, sweat dropping.

Their debate was cut short when the door was rudely kicked open. Before anyone could get a word in, Gokudera rushed to Tsuna's side and dropped down to his knees.

"Juudaime! I deeply apologize for taking so long and letting the pineapple haired bastard disturb your- Oh wait, you're just talking to the baseball idiot, never mind." Gokudera set the four cups of coffee on to the table as Mukuro stumbled his way in.

"Ngh...Cheesecake..." Mukuro muttered, dropping on to his knees before collapsing on the floor. "5 more minutes" He muttered afterwards.

The two guardians and the sky only stared in silence before Gokudera pulled out his iPhone and took a few pictures.

* * *

"Kufufufu, delete it"

"Hahaha! Ha- Pfft Kah! [cough cough] Never!"

"Ku..."

Tsuna only laughed nervously as Gokudera was practically choking on his spit while laughing at the pictures while Mukuro was sulking in his seat, clearly not liking the blackmail material Gokudera has.

"[AHEM] Anyway, since Mukuro decided to come back to Earth, we can now get this mission briefing going." Tsuna started, getting the attention of his rain, storm and mist. "There has been-"

_**SMASH**_

"...I heard nothing" Tsuna outright denied as he continued with the mission briefing.

* * *

He wasn't stalking. He was … watching.

The room was just a bit too bright for his liking, but then again, it wasn't like it was his room after all. His steel blue eyes took in everything in the room before resting its gaze on the one person sleeping silently on the lavender sheets.

Silently, he walked closer and closer until he was right beside the bed. He blinked and stood for a few minutes, taking in the sleeping face of his herbivore. Letting out a breath, he dropped down the level of the bed as she rolled to her side and faced him.

The close proximity was too much for him, and his lit up with a faint pink. '_Shit, this herbivorous situation … I don't know what to do … _' He realized. He stared at her sleeping face for a few more seconds, the pink on his face steadily raised to a red before he came to a solution.

Steeling his resolve, his arm came up and before you could yell "pervert", his fingers pinched her nose, just for a second.

In response, Chrome only grunted and rolled over, completely ignoring him...at least that's what he thought. Therefore, he narrowed his eyes and jumped on the bed and over her before pinching her nose again.

Chrome made a whining sound before rolling back over, with her arm in a backhand slap position. Hibari saw it coming 15 miles away, caught the hand and pinched her cheeks this time.

This got Chrome to finally wake up.

"Wua yew duwin hewr, Hibaka?" Chrome asked, yawning, which only hurt her more seeing Hibari decided to stretch her cheeks out. "IT HURTS" She yelled, raising her free arm to pinch Hibari's cheeks as well.

Before you knew it, the Vongola Cloud and Female Mist were in the middle of a pinching war. The two of them never made it out the door in time for the 3 Guardians' departure.

* * *

"_Hn." Hibario huffed, turning away. "You are an interesting, herbivore." He commented, looking up to the sky. - Hibari_

"_I'm not a herbivore" Nagi muttered, before turning to look at the sky as well. "But I guess you're a very … interesting prince as well. Well, I've only met one in my life" She stumbled on her words. - Chrome_

"_Pfft." Hibario stuffed his laughter by fisting his mouth. "Definitely an interesting herbivore" He confirmed before he turned back to the purple haired girl. He gave her a look over before tilting his head up and whistled loudly. Seconds later, a yellow puffball flew down from the windows of the taller towers. - Hibari_

_Nagi blushed as the prince looked over her, when he tilted his head up and whistled, she took her chance to take a breath and regain her composure. However, when she was ready to speak to him again, she came face to face with a giant yellow puffball. Oh wait, it was sitting on her nose, no wonder. - Chrome_

"_That is Hibird. My bird." Hibario informed, "From today, I shall have Hibird follow you around" He said. - Hibari_

"_E-EH? Y-You can't possibly do that! M-my stepsisters, they'll roast him and eat him for dessert" Nagi cried, gently taking the fluffy bird into her palms. "B-Besides, why would you want a bird to follow me around?" She asked. - Chrome_

"_Don't underestimate my pet. He'll be your bodyguard until the day I can wed you" Hibario smirked. - HIbari_

"_W-W-W-W-Wed?" Nagi stuttered out, her voice nearly fading away. "W-W-What?" She asked dumbly. - Chrome_

"_Hmph. It should have been obvious when I said you were an interesting herbivore. Obviously I can't wed you right now or in the near future, but at least my pet can keep tabs on you to keep you open until the day I am allowed to wed you." Hibario said. - Hibari_

"_D-Don't I get a say in this?" - Chrome_

"_Anything you say now is futile, I know you're interested in me, herbivore" Hibario smirked as he leaned in close. Their faces were barely apart and he lifted his hand to tuck a strand thread of hair behind Nagi's ear before puffing a puff of warm breath to her ear. - Hibari_

_Nagi squeaked at the sudden warmth on her ears and blushed furiously. She shook her head to regain her thoughts. "I-I can't possibly … not so suddenly..." She muttered off. - Chrome_

"_I understand" Hibario deadpanned. "That's why I'm letting you go for now, my pet will keep an eye on you, and through the years, I will successfully court you and you will be mine without a doubt" He said confidently. - Hibari_

_Nagi could only bow her head down to hide her blush. "I-If that is all, Prince. I … I need a drink" She lied as she moved past him, and back into the ballroom. - Chrome_

_Hibario stood completely still as he took a second to readjust to the lack of lavender and vanilla smell around him. He shook his head to clear the herbivorous thoughts before breathing out slowly. 'Great...I'm turning into a herbivore...NO! I am a carnivore. BELIEVE IT!' He thought as he took a another huge breath before marching back into the ballroom to find the purple haired herbivore. - Hibari_

_Nagi walked around the tables, it took her a little longer to find something that wasn't alcoholic, but at last she found it … in a suspicious shady corner. She had always been one for adventure and besides, she was thirsty, so she threw all reason out the window and went for the drink. - Chrome_

* * *

"Ushishishi, the Prince lost his way, but look what he ran into~ Chrome-chan!" Bel called, waving his arms in the air, calling for her as she stepped back room the wall that was filled with a lot of purple and indigo post its.

"Bel-san" She greeted, slightly bowing her head in respect to her sempai. "Is Mammon or Fran around?" She asked, "We - er - I kinda need them to help me with a favour..." She said.

"Ushishishi, sorry Chrome-chan, the Prince split up with Froggy and the Princess … which is why I got lost" He sulked, hell, his tiara even fell off.

"O-oh, I see. Um, well, I guess it's fine without Mammon and Fran … say, Bel-san, maybe you can help me" Chrome decided.

"Shishi?"

Before Chrome could open her mouth, the door was swung open with the force of a space rocket.

"CCCChrromee~" A disgusting voice sang, and the two in the room saw Lussuria dance his way into the room and in front of them. "I can't seem to find Mukuro-chan or Goku-chan" Lussuria pouted. "Surely you must know where Mukuro-chan is, right?"

"Sorry Lussu-nee, Mukuro is on a mission with Yamamoto and Gokudera" She said. "Have you seen Mammon and Fran?" She asked in return.

Lussuria brought a delicate pinky to his chin for a few seconds to think before realizing something. "Aha~ I think I saw Fran-chan floating to the roof … but after a minute or two he was flying allllllll the way down!" Lussuria cheered.

"Ushishishi, the Prince needs to make a mental note of dancing on Froggy's grave when we find his corpse a few feet underground." Bel teased, playing with his knives as he made plans to bury the Froggy alive if he was alive.

"Please don't do that Bel-san, Fran is my only brother" Chrome pleaded before turning to Lussuria. "And do you know where Mammon is?" She asked.

"Hm...I think I saw her recording the whole incident from a safe distance, so it'll be hard to tell where she is now. Probably at the nearest computer to copy the video and sell it out" Lussuria said.

"I see … thank you, then" Chrome said, smiling.

"Kuuuuwaa~ Anything for someone as cute as you, Chrome-chan!" Lussuria squealed, catching Chrome in a tight hug.

"Piss off birdie, no touching the Prince's Bunny. [He calls Chrome his bunny]." Lussuria paid no mind to Bel and continued cuddling a terrified Chrome. "Ka-ching" Bel hissed out as he threw 3 knives at the colorful sun guardian.

"Mou~" Lussuria pouted, "No need to get your panties in a bunch. You're just jealous you got a hug out of Chrome-chan! She's very hug-able if you manage to slip through the Mukuro defence and Hibari defence" Lussuria said, standing a little more proudly. "And of course, only I could get past those two and hug Chrome-chan alllllll the time!" He cooed.

"Oh really, would you like to try to get past the defence again, I'm very curious to see how you managed to bypass it" A cold voice growled and Lussuria froze before turning to see a very irritated skylark with his tonfas shining in the invisible sunlight. "Take your hands off my herbivore, or I'll … screw that, I'd bite you to death for no reason anyway" Hibari deadpanned before charging in.

* * *

_Hibario let his eyes sweep over the room, he was only focused on finding one thing, a certain purplenette. He grunted and turned his head away when he realized that she was nowhere in sight. 'And I don't even have her name. What a herbivorous mistake.' He cursed himself. 'At least Hibird is with her, then I can still find her' He noted as he returned to his makeshift throne, where his herbivorous mother and father were. - Hibari_

_As the cold liquid went down her throat, Nagi saw that the yellow fluffball was once again sitting on her nose, making it bigger than it seemed and covering her sight with yellow. Sighing, she placed her cup down and cupped the bird in her hands. 'Hibird was it? How about this, sit on my head, not on my nose" Nagi muttered as she gently placed the yellow bird on her head. Hearing a happy chirp from him, Nagi smiled and returned to sipping her drink. _

_From a dark corner, a princely blond haired teen peeked out and could only give a "Ushishishi" as he creepily watched the purplenette take tiny amounts of the drink. - The Prince_

_From another corner, the handsome tri-colored haired man could only let out a muffled squeal as he stared at the many people in the room, be it man or woman. - Lussuria_

_Feeling that someone had their eyes on her, Nagi whipped her head from left and right to see if anyone did have their sights on her. 'It could be the Prince ….' She figured. - Chrome_

"_Ushishishi" The blond prince chuckled. "Time to start the show" He grinned as he picked out 5 uniquely shaped knives from his pocket and threw them with lethal power and deadly accuracy, the result of it was the chandeleurs breaking and the shards falling onto the shocked, surprised, and frozen guests. In the midst of the confusion and fear, the blond shot out from his dark corner and in the middle of his sprint, his arm grabbed onto the purplenette, and the two quickly disappeared. - The Prince_

_As the three different colored haired man saw his partner in crime run away with the target, he quickly danced out from his dark corner as well, managing to twirl around the screaming and running guests, he finally made it to the throne where the royals were. Giving the King and the Prince a quick look-over, he could hardly contain himself and giggled, held a delicate pinky out and commented on their hair. - Lussuria_

_(Herbivore, stay far, far away from me) Hibario glared at the man in front of him. "Who the hell do you think you are?" He asked coldly, quickly equipping himself with his trusty tonfas. "For disturbing the peace, I will bite you to death! (With no trial)" He growled. - Hibari_

"_Aha~ Well you see, your Prince, we're just here to relay a message from the handsome wizard himself, he says to stay out of his business." He grinned before twirling his way around the tonfas. - Lussuria. _

_The blond teen quickly tied up the purplenette and tossed her into the back of the carriage, he made sure to lock up every lock possible and quickly sprinted back into the chaotic castle of the Hibari's. He held up 3 knives to deflect the oncoming tonfa strike. "Ushishishi, helllllo there, Prince Hibario. Unfortunately for you, the Prince - meaning me - has taken a liking to a certain purplenette, so I will have to take her away from your clutches. Ushishishi" The TRUE Prince chuckled, - The Prince_

"_She is not yours, herbivore." Hibario growled. "And for the record, EVERYONE knows your fake." He rolled his eyes. "You better return her before I come in and destroy what little puny kingdom you have" Hibario threatened. - Hibari_

"_Ushishishi. How about … NEVER!" The Prince laughed all the way as multiple things were tossed at him along his sprint out the castle once more. - The Prince._

* * *

"You have a death wish, herbivore" Hibari commented as entered the room and read the post it the blond prince had posted.

"Ushishishi, no hard feelings, remember? Shishishi" Bel chuckled as he skipped his way around Hibari. "Besides, this certainly amuses the Prince more than Froggy and the ill-bred Shark." He chuckled once more.

"Just don't forgot that she's _my_herbivore"

"Shishishi, no promises"

"You..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" A suddenly monotonous cry of absolute despair echoed in the room, and the two immediately whipped their heads to the window to see Fran floating in. The green haired disciple of pineapple the second dropped to his knees when he reached the floor. "The story … my story … the story …" He muttered on, clutching his head.

"Shishishi? What happened to Froggy?" Bel asked, poking Fran with a stick.

Suddenly, the doors opened, and they all saw Chrome's face lighting up before turning into worry, she quickly found her way beside Fran and turned to Hibari and Bel.

"What happened to Fran?" She asked the two who shrugged and looked away. Worriedly, she pressed a hand to his head, quickly reading over his thoughts. "Oh..." She frowned before turning to Hibari. "It's all your fault"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, that's right, it's all your fault"

"You don't know what you're saying, herbivore"

"Oh trust me, I do, and believe me, it really is your fault"

"What have I done?"

"Aside from tossing him off the roof, he says that you've completely ruined the story by dragging in the fake prince and the gay peacock into it. He's not happy at all. Oh, and I think he's mad at Mammon as well for ruining the narratives last time" She said.

"How is this my fault?"

"You made Bel-san and Lussuria-san join in the story."

"No I did not"

"Yes you did"

"Shut up, I'll bite you to death for your false accusations"

"I shall avenge my fallen brother! BRING IT ON!"

* * *

Tsuna sighed as he took a good look at the two Guardians in his office. "Now, Hibari-san, please stay still"

_RATTLE RATTLE _

He sighed again and wished his Cloud would just be a bit more cooperative in this. He turned over to see his female Mist guardian, at least someone was staying still and quiet.

_RATTLE RATTLE_

"Hibari-san please stay still, I can't do paperwork like this and if I can't finish all of this, I'm dumping it all onto your desk" He threatened and almost immediately everything was silent.

Remembering something, Tsuna pulled out his iPhone and took a quick picture of his Cloud and Mist. Snickering, he made sure to save it as his background picture before turning back to his work.

In the metal chair and wrapped in fire-proof metal chains, Hibari hissed quietly. Again, he tried to summon his flames, his goddamn destructive cloud flames. All he got was sputtering flames and then nothing. He grumbled before turning his eye to his companion.

She sat way too straight, she was too quiet and still to be real. Quickly realizing what that meant, his eyes turned murderous and he leaned over in his chair, tiping over and tumbling into the Mist. He didn't hear anything for a few seconds but when he could use his senses, he realized that it was not an illusion.

'_Ah...shit' _He thought, as he felt the Mist squirming and trying to kick his head off. '_Wait … where?' _He quickly looked up, only to see a sight every man wanted to see, blinking a few times and burning the image into his memory, he could care less that she kicked him to unconsciousness, he had good dreams that night.

* * *

**OMAKE**

**Mukuro: Kufufufu, we're back! [sees Hibari and Chrome wrapped in chains, in compromising position, and Hibari being a pervert] T-T-This can't be! **

**Gokudera: Oi! Stop blocking the door what's your pro - [sees the same thing] W-W-Wha...?**

**Yamamoto: Ha...haha … ha. It's nice to see everyone happy … I guess. **

**Tsuna: [Looks up from paperwork] HIIIE! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?**

**Gokudera: J=Juudaime? **

**Yamamoto: Ah...Haha...**

**Mukuro: YOU! [points trident at Tsuna] You were RIGHT THERE, and you still let THIS [gestures to Chrome and Hibari] HAPPEN! **

**Tsuna: I-I-I [speechless] **

**Winter: Ah … leave 'em be. Kids are growing up quick these days. **

**Mukuro: Shut up! Chrome's too young! UGH! [Grabs Hibari and tosses him out the window] **

**Tsuna: My window!**

**Gokudera: You bastard! How dare you destory Juudaime's window! [rushes in with bombs] **

**Mukuro: Ku...fufu...fufufu, don't get in my way! [starts fighting Gokudera] **

**Yamamoto: Oi, Oi, calm down! [joins in] **

**Tsuna: ...the room … paperwork … money...rrghrgh [faints] **

**Chrome: [muffled] Help me...**

* * *

**THE END. **

**Alright, I know, definitely NOT FUNNY AT ALL! I'm sorry, but I do need the plot and story to get going so at least things are moving, and I did try to add funny things in, but I can't really think of anything funny to put in. **

**I didn't check the grammar and spelling closely because I wanted to post this faster and not push it behind any more, so ... I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED IT  
**

**Sowwy. **

**Anyway, sorry for the late update. ****GO TO MY PROFILE TO VOTE, LAST CHANCE, ON THE 19TH OF DECEMBER IN THE MORNING, THE POLL WILL BE GONE. **

**Forgot everything I had to say here, but remember. REMEMBER TO REVIEW, tell me your opinion, tell me I suck, tell me this was amazing, tell me my mistakes and … most of you know the routine. **

**I only want to know how you all feel about this, it tells me what I need to change and what to add what to take out, etc. It honestly gives me more work, and you guys better chapters to read. **

**SO REMEMBER! A) VOTE POLL IF YOU HAVEN'T. B) GIVE YOUR OPINION, SUGGESTION, ADVICE, TELL ME I SUCK IF YOU WANT (optional obviously), C) SEE YOU NEXT TIME. **

**~W.R.T.**


	12. Fairy Tale REMIX 5

**Tsuna: Ohayo, minna-san! **

**Dino: How's it going?**

**Tsuna: Eh!? Dino-san! You were here all along!?**

**Dino: [sniffle] Oh … its fine … I guess it's just a bit too dark in here for you to see me … **

**Tsuna: E-Err, no, that's not what I meant … **

**Dino: ANYWAY! To all who don't know yet, the Poll Results are out! **

**Tsuna: In case anyone didn't know or has forgotten what it's about...**

**Dino: … the poll was to find out what order the first generation of Vongola should be appearing**

**Winter: Yup, and although I had the poll up, the first generation arc in MPIW isn't going to happen anytime soon. **

**Tsuna: I see [Thinks: thank god], anyway on with the results! **

**Dino: Yosh! [Pulls out paper] We'll start from last to the first! **

**Tsuna: Alright, in last place, with … HIEEE, only 1 vote is Knuckle-san! **

**Dino: In 7th place with only 2 votes is … PFFT …. Lampo! **

**Tsuna: In 6th place with 7 votes is Asari-san!**

**Dino: Err … the next two Guardians have the same number of votes, so Daemon Spade in 5th and G in 4th both have 16 votes!**

**Tsuna: Haha … Alaude-san in 2nd place and the 'SURPRISE MEH!' both have 18 votes … **

**Dino: Hahaha … I see …. BUT! In 1st place!**

**Tsuna: is Giotto-san! With an overwhelming 28 votes!**

**Dino: Crap! I'm late for a meeting, sorry lil bro, I gotta fly! **

**Tsuna: Eh?! W-Well in that case, see you again everyone! Look forward to this chapter and the next! **

**Winter: I apologize in advance about spelling, grammar, and punctuation, I do use Word to check it and proof it, but I don't work well with Word, it's stupid. Please forgive me if you find anything wrong. I'm sure you're all intelligent to figure out what I actually mean. I don't own KHR.**

* * *

Chapter 12: Fairy Tale REMIX 5

_As Hibario demanded the herbivorous guards to wake up and drag their behinds to start investigating and standing their guard around the castle, no one really realized that the clock had struck 12:00. So when a short dark hooded and cloaked … unrecognizable person floated into the ballroom all feared for the worse and started screaming. - Mammon_

_Except for Hibario since the carnivore knew all. "Pixie. What business do you have here?" He sighed. - Hibari_

_"Have you seen a purple pineapple? She looks quite stupid and has stinkin' attitude, I'm sure you must've seen her around here somewhere" The Pixie said, looking around the mess. "Or am I to assume that she died?" The Pixie added. - Mammon_

_"I might've seen her, but it depends on what you want to know" Hibario replied, his hands latching onto his tonfas. - Hibari_

_"She owes me 40000 euros, and it's already twelve so she has to help me with something" The Pixie said, waving a fan of money in her hands. - Mammon_

_"Too bad for you, you won't be able to find her" Hibario said - Hibari_

_"And why is that?" - Mammon_

_"Some weirdoes dropped in and kidnapped her" Hibario said. "She probably won't die, though. Hibird is with her after all." He said confidently. - Hibari_

_"Tch. How troublesome. I still have to find her anyway, I need the money, and unless she's dead I won't give up on getting the money!" The Pixie announced before ripping a part of the expensive looking curtains and used it to blow her nose. - Mammon_

_"...You're paying for that, or I'll bite you to death" - Hibari_

_"Yea, yea whatever, when I give you back the purple pineapple you aren't going to remember this anyway" The Pixie said as it used its magic to trace the purple pineapple girl. "...What the hell is this? Looks like … a rocket ship" It said, frowning at the paper. - Mammon_

_Hibario, who had read the powers of the Pixie, looked over the short fairy's shoulder and squinted. "...Looks like a tower" He replied. - Hibari_

_"A tower? That's it! They must've brought her to the god be damned pineapple wizard!" The Pixie exclaimed. "Perfect, I'll go collect the money from the girl and kill the wizard myself, how lucky i must be today~" The pixie sang, quickly dancing across the castle to the exit. - Mammon_

_"Hey! Hold it!" Hibario yelled. "Are you talking about the wizard? The Pineapple Wizard?" He asked. - Hibari_

_"What other 'famous' wizard lives around here and is insane enough to call himself 'beautiful'?" The Pixie asked. - Mammon_

_"In that case, I'm going as well. That pineapple needs to be bitten to death" He growled. - Hibari_

_"Hm. Personally, I don't give a damn, but I guess this gives me a free bodyguard." The Pixie reasoned before nodding at the prince. "Hurry up, I don't like wasting time" She monotoned. - Mammon _

_"Don't give me orders, herbivore" - Hibari_

* * *

As Hibari slapped the Post it next to an indigo one, he quickly turned to the door, eager to go back to taking a nap before having to post another one. However, as the door opened, he almost walked straight into ...

"You..." He growled, unleashing his tonfas.

"Oya? Good morning to you … [yawn] too, skylark-kun" Mukuro purred, stretching his arms up, acting as if the tonfas meant nothing. Hibari growled at the thought and charged at the illusionist who twirled to the side, avoiding the move cleanly.

"I'll bite you to death right now, pineapple herbivore" Hibari said.

"What did I do now? I just woke up" Mukuro groaned.

"For breaking the contract and deal of having Dokuro come to my bed every night"

"SHUT UP! You sound like a pervert, and my dear sweet Chrome doesn't need to go to the likes of you" Mukuro growled, summoning his trident. "The deal was with my little one, if you have any troubles go find my stupid apprentice, now leave me alone, I need to weave some chaos."

"...Kamikorosu"

"Kufufufu"

…

"KYYYYAAAAAAAA"

* * *

_"Eh? Where am I?" Nagi whispered to herself as she woke up in a dark place. As she blinked to clear her vision, she realized that she was tied up to a chair and she was sitting in a jail cell sort of place. "Is there anyone here?" She asked. - Chrome_

_"Ushishishi, looks like the princess finally woke up" The blonde prince grinned, looking up from his reading. "Don't worry you're somewhere safe … where no one can find you" He reassured - The Prince_

_"Whaaaaaaa! So cute!" The taller man cooed at the yellow puffball that was locked inside a bird cage. "Oh! You're very cute too, purple pineapple-chan" He cooed. - Lussu_

_"G-Grazie … [Thanks]" She mumbled out. "But where is this?" - Chrome_

_"Ushishishi ever heard of the pineapple wizard? Well this is his grand tower you're in" The blonde grinned. "He wants to meet you, for some unknown reason." - The Prince _

_Nagi didn't know if she should be happy or terrified at the information, last she heard was that the wizard was completely insane and his goal was only to turn the world into a giant pineapple. "Is there a way out?" She asked stupidly. - Chrome_

_"Gomen-ne~, purple pineapple-chan, but we have orders to keep you here until the grand pineapple wizard-chan comes out himself" The weird colored haired man said. [Fran-kun, stop over-writing my name and putting weird things!] - Lussu_

_[Shut up, Lussu-nee, your name was too disgusting for the ratings of this story, I'm saving the authors sorry ungrateful butt by censoring your name] While the fake prince as his partner in crime made sure to keep Nagi in the jail/cage, up at the very top of the grand tower was the pineapple wizard himself. His room was littered with different colors and sizes of clothing; the man himself was standing in front of a long mirror. - Fran_

_"Hm … should I present myself with the green or the yellow? Which one is more pineapple-y?" He questioned himself as he held up both pieces of clothing. "Maybe I should wear a green hat and yellow clothing … yes, that could work" He mumbled to himself before turning to the clock. "My, my, it seems that much time has passed already, screw the pineapple cosplay idea, on with the stereotypical bad guy costume" He said cheerfully as he dug into his closet. - Mukuro_

_Out of the closet and onto the wizard's body was a white button up, long black trench coat, black jeans, black gloves, and a black wizard-y hat. "Kufufufu, yes, perfect" He grinned, looking in the mirror. He was about to walk to the stairs, to present himself when he forgot one very important detail. "Fu … What should my opening speech be?" He pondered. - Mukuro_

_...and down in the lower rooms, the fake prince, partner in crime, and Nagi sat there patiently, waiting for the wizard to present himself. Far away, one violent prince and greedy pixie were still debating who was behind the kidnapping. - Fran_

_"You don't actually believe that the fake prince actually has a reason to kidnap a 'peasant-ish looking' person, do you?" the Pixie huffed, rolling its eyes. - Mammon_

_"Hn. I'll give you that one, but then who's the puppeteer?" The prince replied, hastily running through the shadows of the buildings. - Hibari_

_"Mu. If they're in the tower, then it's obviously the pineapple wizards doing, why else would they be there? Are you as retard as that purple pineapple said you were?" The Pixie mumbled. - Mammon_

_Hibario's left eye twitched, but he ignored that last comment and continued to run towards the stupidly tall lightning rod of a tower. - Hibari_

_A while later, back in the jail/cage … - Fran_

_Nagi hummed as she rolled around the floor trying to think of something … anything to take her mind off of the anxiety of meeting the insane wizard. However, she suddenly stopped rolling around when something nicked her cheek. Pouting, she sat up and used her dress to lightly stop the bleeding. - Chrome_

_The Prince snapped his head up at the smell of blood. Immediately, he charged right into the jail, ignoring the fact that his face was just pressing against the bars. "Bloooouuuuddd" He growled, in a princely fashion. "Bluuuuuud" He continued, - The Prince. _

_"Yare, yare, Fake Prince-chan, please do stop that, you'll ruin your face is you continue to try to squeeze in between the bars...Oh~ that sounded so naughty." His partner in crime cooed. - Lussu_

_The Prince used all of his princely might and ripped the bars apart, and sprinted in, grabbed the peasants face and licked the blood. "Ushishishi, peasant blood!" He sang. - The Prince. _

_"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew" Nagi chanted in her mind as the kidnapping weirdo started licking her. "You're just a dog" She cried, pushing him away. - Chrome_

_"Ushi? The PRINCE? A DOG? HOW DARE YOU!" The Prince cried, taking out his knives, he planned how to cut up the peasant in front of him. - The Prince. _

_Hibird. Bite cage to death. POOF! Dragon! FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. - Hibird _

* * *

Chrome just stared at the post it in front of her. She blinked, rubbed her eyes, and tried to find any trace of an illusion in the room. When she found nothing and saw the innocent post it with shaky looking printing, she could only do one logical thing any Vongola woman would do.

"HIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE"

In 2 seconds flat, Hibari Kyoya came flying in the room through the windows [yes, my friends, the same window that Fran came flying in before] and landed perfectly on his two feet, his dangerous steel eyes immediately scanned the room for any sort of danger that could possibly make the Vongola female Mist scream like a herbivore.

Finding no immediate danger, he raised an eyebrow and relaxed a bit. "What were you screaming about, Herbivore?" He asked.

"B-B-B-Buh … w-w-whaaaa, lu..." Chrome stuttered, shaking and pointing at the one post it in front of her like it had killed her box weapon and fed it to [the now dead] Daemon Spade. Finding no other words that could fit this situation, the purple pineapple could only continue …

"HIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and wave her arms up and down.

Like a true herbivore.

Quickly getting annoyed, Hibari slammed his Vongola cloud ring into Roll's box, summoning the small animal, he quietly commanded "Cambio Forma", going through a few forms, he soon held spiky handcuffs in his hands.

"Shut up, herbivore, you sound like the herbi-boss, and stop waving your arms, I'm getting dizzy just looking at you" He hissed, quickly cuffing the cuffs on her wrists. That took care of the arm waving, now to stop the "Hiiie"'s.

Raising an eyebrow, he 'gently' shoved Chrome to the side, and took a look at what made her so scared.

_Hibird. Bite cage to death. POOF! Dragon! FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. - Hibird _

"..."

"SEE?! EVEN YOU'RE SPEECHLESS!"

"..."

"Don't ignore me Kyoya, and I'm calm now, get the cuffs off..."

"..."

"H-Hey...what the hell's going in your mind?! HEY! SNAP OUT OF IT! THE CUFFS ARE MULTIPLYING, YOU BASTARD, WAKE UP FROM YOUR DAZZEEEEE! HIIIIIEEEE!"

"Kuromu! Kuromu!"

"Eh? Hibird! Perfect timing! Go bite Kyoya back to reality"

"Shut up. Hibird, come along, you deserve to get sunflower seeds"

"Seeds! Seeds! Bai, Bai Kuromu."

"E-EH? WAIT, KYOYA THE CUFFS!"

* * *

_[A-Areee? Hibird managed to write something? How unexpected, Cloud Person, give us translations.] - Fran_

_[Don't give me orders] in a flash of yellow and orange, the bird cage was no more; all that remained was burnt ash. In Hibird's place was one golden scaled, black eyed dragon. In a blink of an eye, the once-a-bird-now-a-dragon opened its mouth and turned the disgusting tri-colored herbivore in front of it into crisp. Turning its head, it gave a small hop and used its claws to tear off the fake prince from Nagi. Once the fake prince was separated from Nagi, Hibird turned the fake prince into crisp as well. - Hibari _

_[I'm still so shocked … and Kyoya, you still forgot to un-cuff me X ] Nagi stared in shock, the once cute yellow fluff ball now turned into a golden dragon. Then the Prince's words rang in her head. __"Don't underestimate my pet. He'll be your bodyguard until the day I can wed you" … he had said, excluding that last little part, she realized that she really shouldn't have underestimated that 'carnivorous' (idiotic) Prince's words. - Chrome _

_[Silence. I do not simply 'forget' anything.] Hibird blinked and gave a happy growl once he deemed that everything was safe and there was nothing else needed to burn. He turned to Nagi for further orders … like their escape. - Hibari _

_[Wuh...TT~TT] Nagi was fascinated with Hibird, and so, she patted him on the head, and decided to tickle his nose. - Chrome_

_Hibird's eye twitched. "Ah …" He started, "Ah!" He snapped his eyes shut. "ACHHHOOOOOOOOOOUU" He sneezed, and out came flames, all over the room, at least he made sure to keep Nagi safe. - Chrome _

_[ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?] Nagi snapped her eyes shut as the flames danced, when she felt only heat and the smell of burning cloth did she open her eyes, to find herself sitting on top of Hibird … the dragon's head. "A-Ah...I don't want to burn here … Hibird I'm sure you don't want to become roasted chicken … err, dragon, either, let's get out of here..." She quietly suggested - Chrome_

_Hibird scoffed at the herbivorous woman and smashed the wall before taking off, flying away as they saw the tower to burn for all he cared. - Hibari_

_as the great Pineapple Wizard made his grand entrance down the stairs, he oddly felt that it was hotter than usual; it was probably just his amazing imagination, the usual. As the door to the 'jail/cell' place came into view, he let his 'Kufufufu' slip out as he dramatically kicked the door open … only to face the wrath of flames and burning pineapples. He found the burning bodies of the fake prince and his partner in crime slowly inching towards the door, and only 'kufufu'ed before slamming the door closed and made sure to put a few evil spells up to keep the door from opening. - Mukuro _

_[Wow! How expectedly cruel and gory you are, Shishou. Anyway...] The Pineapple Wizard could care less about the deaths of his stupid acquaintances, Nagi and Hibird have already safely escaped, and all that was left was the Pixie and Prince Hibario's own quest to the tower. - Fran_

_"...Is that a golden dragon?" the Pixie asked, taking a good look up in the air. - Mammon_

_"...No. It's not." Hibari answered. "It's Hibird" He said, ignoring the look the pixie tossed at him when he announced that, he merely whistled, a silent command for his one and only bird … slash dragon. - Hibari_

_Hibird recognized the familiar whistling, and immediately began to drop his altitude. Once low enough, Hibird turned back into a fluffy yellow bird, Nagi forgotten. - Hibari _

_[You really are trying to kill me, aren't you?] Nagi barely held the scream back, barely, as Hibird turned back into a small bird, and she was dropping in the air. - Chrome _

_[Silence, stupid herbivore] Hibird landed softly on Hibario's head and the prince himself moved and caught the dropping Nagi into his arms. - Hibari _

_[Continue your love quarreling somewhere else, please. Or pay me a few million and we'll all tolerate] The Pixie ignored the to-be-romantic scene that was just about to explode, and immediately went straight to the question. "Did you kill the pineapple wizard?" The Pixie asked. - Mammon_

_"E-Eh? Well, if it had been a little longer i … uh, Hibird, might've...but we, uh Hibird, killed the … kidnappers." Nagi explained. "The Pineapple Wizard was coming soon, but I wouldn't have been able to do anything so … "She mumbled off. - Chrome_

_"...What a stupid girl" The Pixie grumbled. "Alright, you two have no choice, we're still going to the tower to kill off that stupid bastard" The Pixie declared. - Mammon_

_"Don't order me around" Hibario said. - Hibird_

_"...I-I wanna come too. I want to know why he's … so … (scribble, scribble) _

_"Insane? Retarded? Pineapple-y? Crazy?" The Pixie offered. - Mammon_

_"...Unique." -Chrome_

_"Hmpf. Very well, suit yourself, I won't be paying for your services. Oh, that reminds me, you owe me 40000 euros." - Mammon _

_[CUT!] ...And with that, the three - Hibario, Nagi and The Pixie - began their quest to the tower once more, this time with each of their own personal goals, will the pineapple wizard be able to escape death? Will the three encounter more problems? Will the epic-battle ever come? Ma, I've run out of things to ask, ta-ta for now. - Fran_

* * *

**The end of Fairy Tale REMIX 5.**

**There's a lot more of the Fairy Tale than the outside, if you get what I mean, because I don't think I want to stretch out the REMIX up to like … 10 or something, If all goes well, I suspect that I'll only go up to 8 … 7 if I'm lucky. **

**I sort of rush this since I'm thinking of posting this on New Year's. Then I gave up and slept, I wake up again, I got nothing to do, might as well give a New Year's gift to you all. I hope you like it! Enjoyed it! Laughed your butt off. The usual. **

**Once again, I don't mean to be annoying, but don't be shy to give questions in your reviews, I will try my best to answer them … if you really want it answered, PM me. The reviews everyone gives me does make a change/difference in this story, if you all tell me you liked it, I will be assured that my style of writing is fine, my plot has no holes, things make sense, (etc.) and I can continue with what I'm working with. **

**Your opinion does miracles with this story, and I thank you all to the bottom of my little heart every time you give me reviews. They tasty. They help me become a better writer and you guys get better quality stories. Thank you all again. 39. (San-Kyuuuuu) **

**~W.R.T.**


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